Liar Liar PANTS on Fire
by jenjen.davieees
Summary: DISCLAIMER: everything recognisable belongs to Louise Rennison. She is the Queen. Threequel to "Crashing PANTS & Crushing Camels" & "A Laugh is for Life, not just for Christmas". I have returned from... somewhere... Horns out! ;D
1. Chapter 1

***IMPORTANT: READ***

**!!**

**Yes! I'm back! And with it I bring the THREEQUEL! **

**Please take a few minutes to *yeyyy* with me! **

**Anyway I have a plan for this story & I have written around half of it. However, I wanted to check with you all that the interest is still there. **

**Is it? Would you all still read this?**

**Please let me know it would mean a lot **

**You could leave a comment or add this story to your alerts/favourites. That would let me know !!**

**Anyway I would say the best thing to do is read the first two again before this one;**

**Crashing PANTS and Crushing Camels**

**A Laugh is for Life, not just for Christmas**

**But I know that would take a rather long while so here's a quick recap!**

**The 1****st**** story is set after "Stop in the name of PANTS" – Gee leaves Masimo and is about to get together with Dave. But then Dave gets in a car crash and loses his memory & any connection with Georgia**

**While he is going out with Emma he reconnects with Gee but she doesn't tell him that they knew each other before the accident**

**Dave and Georgia end up going out & all is well until Dave remembers everything and fights with Georgia because she lied to him**

**After going away for a while, Dave forgives Georgia but when they "go out" again he makes them both pretend that they don't know each other so that they can "start a new"**

**Gee goes along with it at first but then decides that she doesn't like it and wants things to go back to normal**

**Meanwhile Ellen's uncle & aunt die in a skiing accident and so her rude cousin Liam comes to stay – him and Georgia don't get on but Dave seems to make friends with Liam**

**Dave & Gee fight about the "pretending we don't know each other" business and so the Ace Gang lock them in a room together. Dave gives Gee a cd with the song "in too deep" on so Georgia thinks that Dave wants to break up with her**

**Georgia ends up talking to Liam about Dave since Dave is away with his family. Liam tells Gee that Dave still wants to be with her despite what she thinks**

**Georgia chats with Jas and ends up concluding that she just needs to tell Dave how much she loves him and how much she wants to be with him – right away **

**This means a trip to Oasis with the whole gang – time waits for no PANTS**

**Gee finds Dave's room but when the door opens Dave is on the bed topless and a girl in only underwear is the one answering the door**

_I haven't seen Dave since Monday which is definitely not good news since _

_When I did see him last I was hugging another guy_

_This other guy was Liam..._

_Jas waved her hand in the air. "Yeah whatever. Listen, I was talking to Tom and he was talking to Dave yesterday and it turns out Dave is away for the weekend."_

"_Where is he?" I asked._

"_The lakes." Oh. Jas continued, "He's gone to this Oasis/Centreparks place with his family. They really are great bonding places. I used to go all the time when I was lit-"..._

"_Tom said that Dave said that he does still like you. He's just confused about... how much he likes you. And... you know, whether you like him or..."_

_Oh here we go again. "Jas I do like him! And no one else ok!"..._

"_What are you doing?" Jas asked climbed off the bed as well. _

_I continued to root around in the wardrobe before finally finding my suitcase and pulling it out. "I, my friend, am going to the Lakes."..._

_...Dave didn't answer the door. He was on the bed with his top off._

_It was a girl who opened the door._

_A girl in nothing but her underwear. _

**So... you guys want the first chapter?!**

**HORNS OUT! ;D**


	2. A Brick in her Handbag

**Ok guys here it is! The first chapter of the threquel!! It's a tad short but each chapter will get longer as it gets more exciting :)**

**Thankyou so much for the reviews and great feedback, I really appreciate it and hope that you enjoy the story **

**Horns out ;)**

**Chapter 1: A Brick in her Handbag**

**Date: Saturday January 21****st**

**Time: 9.10pm**

**Location: A corridor somewhere in the middle of a building in the middle of some stupid, stupid park Oasis. **

Running down the corridor. Pant pant huff huff. I can't believe I'm here. What am I doing here? Big G WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

I hate this I hate this I hate this. I want to be back in my bed of pain back in my bedroom back in my house and away from this stupid place. STUPID!

Why does the world hate me? Why does Big G hate me? BIG G WHY ARE YOU INTENT ON DESTROYING MY LIFE?!

And what in the name of fiery under crackers was Da-

NO! His name will not be said. It will not be said, mentioned, thought or anything else that means thinking about... _him_.

**2 seconds later**

"Georgia! Georgia come back!"

No I will _not _come back you stupid idiotic bast-

Damn it I'm thinking about him! Him and his voice. Ergh.

**5 seconds later**

Hell's bells he's gaining on me! Since when did he run like a speedy bugs bunny on high? He's faster than a fast thing on fast tablets. Faster than me even, and we all know how fast I am... very.

And when did he have time to put his top back on?

**1 second later**

Very nearly ran into a door. Oh no wait, I did run into a door. Or at least my arm did. Maybe my body has gone numb from pain because of everything. I bet I'll get a bruise tomorrow.

Note to self: try to avoid unmoving, hard objects.

Maybe I should just look forward. Yes, forward is good. Very good. Straight ahead.

**10 seconds later**

Where the hell is the bloody exit?!!!!

**2 seconds later**

I have just entered the tunnel of death. Why is it so dark in here? Don't they know what a light is? I bet they're using those crappy energy-saving bulbs like Jazzy Spazzy that are apparently "saving the environment" but blinding us all.

When I get out of this I'm going to –

**0.5 seconds later**

Uh-oh

**0.2 seconds later**

Ouch

**0.3 seconds later**

Ow

**0.4 seconds later**

Christ

**0.5 seconds later**

Bugger

**1 second later**

I think... I think I broke my head.

Stupid stairs. What in the name of Grandvati's cycling over-tight shorts were stairs doing at the bottom of a dark corridor and underneath my feet? Or rather not under my feet considering I've just fallen to my potential death.

I bet Jas would even give me a midget gem right now. That is the sort of critical condition I am in.

**3 seconds later**

Dave is still running after me. I can hear him get closer. And here I am with my nose squished into the floor. Because clearly Big G decided it wasn't gigantibus enough already.

"Georgia stop!" he shouted from above. "Come baaaaaa-"

**0.5 seconds later**

Oh no.

**0.5 seconds later**

Oh yes. I now have a Dave on top of me. Fan tabby tanstic.

**1 second later**

"Ow get OFF me!" I screamed to the lump on my back.

"Georgia?" Dave mumbled, "What are you doing?"

"What are YOU doing?"

"What do you mean what am I doing I'm... I'm... You were-"

"Shut up!" I yelled, "Shut up and get off me!"

He jumped up in a scarily springy manner and I clambered to my feet afterwards, ignoring the hand Dave held out for me.

"Just let me explain," Dave said as I began to walk off. I would run but I think my legs are officially off-duty now.

"No. Leave me alone," I told him, shrugging off his arm and trying to pick up my pace. He grabbed hold of me then and tried to make me stand still.

"Geffo geffo geffo!" I shouted through the layers of... stuff that was Dave. He was holding me pretty tight and I couldn't get away. Damn him.

"Stop struggling Georgia I need to talk to you."

"No. NO!" I repeated for the zillionth time. Why do guys think no means yes?!

**5 seconds later**

I thought I would never escape his mad clutches but then I heard someone come up behind us.

"Hey... what are you doing to that poor lass?" A woman said. An _old_ woman. Like more ancient than the Olds back home. Ouchy. More wrinkles too. I didn't think it was possible to have more wrinkles than Vati's forehead.

"Erm... nothing we're fine," Dave answered, still trying to keep hold of me.

I managed to swivel round so my face was free, "No it's not fine let me go!"

Then this weird thing happened. Weird in a good, thank baby Jesus, way. Because then the wrinkly lady started beating Dave with her handbag. And proper whacks I mean – I'm not talking about any pathetic girly slaps.

I bet she was a boxer in her youth.

They had boxing in the 1800s right?

**20 seconds later**

And I'm free! Thank you crazy lady! She just continued to hit Dave until he let me go. She probably has a brick in her handbag.

And when he released me she shouted, "Run like the wind good lass!"

I think I may have made a new friend. If only I wasn't feeling so merde I might actually enjoy the moment.

You know, if I hadn't just come all the way to Oasis to see my boyfriend and tell him I love him only to discover he's been having sex for God knows how long with some stupid girl I've never seen in the stupid dark rooms.

Yeah, if that hadn't happened I may be a tad more cheery.

**1 minute later**

She wasn't even pretty. Not in the slightest. Not even a little bit. Not-

**2 seconds later**

Ok she was a bloody supermodel. Not that I'm on the turn or anything because I am NOT, but she actually looked good in her underwear. I didn't think that was possible.

And she had long legs. Why did she have long legs?

And not even weedy sticky ones with knobbly knees like Wet Lindsey's.

**1 second later**

Why couldn't she at least have knobbly knees?!

**2 minutes later**

I hate Dave.

**8 minutes later**

Finally back at the cabin place. I got a bit disorientated on the way back. What bright spark decided to make a place where everywhere is identical? I swear I walked past the same tree about ten times.

Actually I probably did.

But I'm here and alive now. And that's about it considering it looks like I am doomed to be unhappy for all eternity. Again, thank you very much Big G.

Someone is getting a serious talking to when I get to heaven.

**1 minute later**

No one is here. Why is no one here? Where are all my so-called mates when I need them?!

**30 seconds later**

Barged right upstairs and into my room. I don't care if my mates aren't here I am leaving right now. I'll just pack up all my things and-

Oh, my things are already packed. _This_ is why you don't unpack on short trips. That way you can make a quick getaway. Which will soon be demonstrated by Georgia Nicolson. Fab.

**4 minutes later**

Hurling my suitcase downstairs. Crikey this is a lot of work. Especially for someone who was recently crippled by the stairs of death.

**2 minutes later**

Still attempting to hurl my suitcase down the stairs. It's a bloody nightmare. How did I get it up in the first place? It's heavier than the Portly One after he's had Christmas Dinner. Not that I would know exactly, I don't want a death sentence. He would squish me to the underworld and beyond no doubt.

**10 seconds later**

I give up. My suitcase is officially lodged between the banister and the wall. How did it get in there? That gap is wayyyy to small for my gigantibus suitcase. It wouldn't even fit Vati's botty in there. Or Jas' big knickers.

**2 minutes later**

Sat in a heap on my suitcase. I tried bouncing up and down a bit to see if it would move but the weight of my nunga-nungas flying around nearly made me fall over. And I've fallen down enough set of stairs today.

Well actually just the one set but that's plenty for moi.

I really should have worn my extra tight over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder today.

There's a mirror on the wall here. Christ on Bike I look like Jas does after she's been on an extra long ramble. Except without the stupid happy grin on her face obviously. My hair looks like it's been dragged through a prickly bush. Repeatedly. And my makeup is all smudged over my face. That must have happened when I fell. Lovely.

Oh my Baby Jesus I've just realised something. My eyes are dry. _Dry_. Why in the name of raining hell are my eyes dry? I haven't blubbed yet. Why haven't I blubbed?

Have I finally run out of tears? Are my eyes broken? What's wrong with me?

Unless I just don't care anymore. Maybe I don't care that I didn't get to tell Dave that I love him because he was too busy sleeping with an un-knobbly kneed girl.

**30 seconds later**

Oh no. I've thought about it.

Here comes the blubbing.

**10.20pm**

**Still in Oasis**

**Still in the house**

**Still on my stuck suitcase**

**Still blubbing**

Why did I start? WHYYYYYYY?!

I can't bloody stop! I can't stop crying! Make it stop Big G make it stop.

I haven't even got panda eyes because I've blubbed so much that my tears washed all the blackness away. Now they're just red. I have evil eyes.

My tears could fill a bath. No a lake. An ocean. They could fill all the oceans in the world.

Stupid, stupid Dave.  
I hate him I HATE HIM.

**1 minute later**

The door just went. I wish I could see who but all my effort has apparently gone into making my tears so I no energy left to move.

I bet it's the Ace Gang and their _boyfriends_ that the _luuuurve_ so much coming back to rub in my face how alone I am. Great.

**2 minutes later**

Oh. It's Liam. This could be awkward. Especially since I'm still crying for the whole of England. And he looks like he wants to die right now.

Me and you both pal.

**30 seconds later**

"Erm... are you ok?" Liam asked, taking a few steps towards me then halting. What sort of a question is that? Can he not see me?! Does he not have eyesssss?!

I want to scream at him, "OF COURSE I'M NOT OK YOU BLOODY FOOL AND BLUBBING SO MUCH I COULD DROWN!"

But I didn't. Because of all the tears.

"I... I... I..." I tried.

Liam took a step closer, "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to..."

Pause. (But still blubbing).

"... you don't want to, do you?" Liam asked looked nervous.

Ha he can stop holding his breath. As if I would talk about this with _him_. No way. Never.

**5 seconds later**

"DAVVVVVVVVVVVE!" I suddenly bawled out of nowhere. Oh crikey not only are my teary eyes running riot but my mouth is too.

Liam jumped up like a jumping thing then eyed me apprehensively. "Erm... ok..."

"He... he..." I began, trying desperately to wipe away all the blubs, "he... girl... clothes... me... ran... dark... fell... stuck... lady... wrinkly... handbag... free... bag... home... stuck..."

Somehow Liam seemed to get the picture. Or at least the nub and gist. I think.

**1 minute later**

Liam is crouched down in front of me on the stairs.

"Do you want me to help you?"

I nodded quickly. Or as quick as possible. "Suitcase... down..." I said.

Liam frowned, as if just taking in the fact that I was sitting on a suitcase. How observant.

"Georgia where are you going?"

"I... go... home," I stuttered.

Liam looked at me, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I nodded like a nodding thing.

"I... I think you should stay." Liam said.

I frowned and shook my head widely spraying him with tears.

"Georgia it's nearly half 10 you can't leave now."

"..I... cannnn..."

Liam shook his head. But not in angry way, more like a sat way. Oh fab, now the meanest, most horrible boy on the planet is actually feeling sorry for me. Great. Just great. I am Miss Pathetico with her broken everything.

"How about this," Liam said, "you go back upstairs now and I'll drive you home in the morning?"

I jerked up and my eyes widened at him. Did he really just offer to do that for me? Really?

"I mean it," he said as if reading my thoughts.

I looked at him, trying to stop blubbing. It didn't work. I may need about five billion pillows tonight as they will get wet through.

**2 minutes later**

Liam is leading me up the stairs, his hand on my elbow. It's quite nice in a weird sort of way. In a way that I can't feel any happy emotions right now because I can't get the image of Dave and un-knobbly knees out my head.

I hate him.

**10 seconds later**

"Here," Liam said once we were in the room. "I'll sleep on the couch and make sure the others don't bother you when you come in."

I looked up at him and for a split second my tears stopped. "Thanks," I mumbled.

Liam gave me a small nod then shut the door.

I guess I'm all alone then.

All aloney on my owny. And not even my original bed of pain to comfort me.

Fab.

**So... first chapter down? yes it was a short one but what did you think? **

**Would love to hear your thoughts in reviews**

**Horns out ;D**


	3. The Brace of Embarrassment

**And I'm allllliveeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

**Hello everyone! Yes, I know it's been a ridiculously long time since I uploaded any chapters... and I know that must have been even more annoying considering there was only one chapter of this story up anway. **

**But here is the next chapter and there will be more coming REGULARLY!**

**You see, I finish my exams in two days, which means my summer is free to WRITE! Yeyyyyy! **

**Thankyou so much to those who have reviewed the last chapter and left amazing comments, I really appreciate it :)**

**Enjoy, horns out ;D**

**Chapter 2: The Brace of Embarrassment **

"_DAVVVVVVVVVVVE!" I suddenly bawled out of nowhere. Oh crikey not only are my teary eyes running riot but my mouth is too. _

_Liam jumped up like a jumping thing then eyed me apprehensively. "Erm... ok..."_

"_He... he..." I began, trying desperately to wipe away all the blubs, "he... girl... clothes... me... ran... dark... fell... stuck... lady... wrinkly... handbag... free... bag... home... stuck..."_

_..."How about this," Liam said, "you go back upstairs now and I'll drive you home in the morning?"_

_I jerked up and my eyes widened at him. Did he really just offer to do that for me? Really?..._

_..."Here," Liam said once we were in the bedroom. "I'll sleep on the couch and make sure the others don't bother you when you come in." _

_I looked up at him and for a split second my tears stopped. "Thanks," I mumbled... _

_...All aloney on my owny. And not even my original bed of pain to comfort me. _

_Fab. _

**Saturday January 21****st**

**11.15pm**

I can't sleep. I probably can't eat as well. Not that there's any food available right now – I'm not in Jas' room. There is no secret stash of midget gems anywhere. I don't think.

It's vair vair boring as well.

I hate my life. I hate everything. I hate the _word_ hate. It sucks.

**1 minute later**

Noise. I can hear noise downstairs.

Creepy creepy I crept out of bed and out onto the landing where I snuck a look at what was going on through the banisters.

The Ace Gang and their _boyfriends_ (eurghh) have returned from... probably a snog fest off in the woods. Ew. Liam is up and talking to them all. Wow, he really was planning on sleeping on the couch. That's sort of sweet... ish.

I pressed my head further between the banister bars to hear what they were saying.

"What do you mean she's going home?" Jas asked rather loudly and everyone quickly did that over exaggerated shushing thing. Then they all flipped their heads towards the stairs and I had to duck away pretty fast. Like a ninja.

I'd make a good ninja.

**2 seconds later**

Head back between the banisters. Everyone's attention is back on Liam.

"I mean," he answered Jas, "that in the morning I'm driving her back."

Jas shook her head disapprovingly (so what's new?) and Jools said, "But she can't just leave."

Liam shrugged nonchalantly, "Well she clearly doesn't want to stay and I'm hardly having the time of my life."

"But we don't even know what happened." Mabs butted in, Ed hanging off her arm and nodding in agreement in a pathetico way like he does every time she speaks.

"Well let's find out!" Rosie barked, moving to walk towards the stairs.

I went to pull my head away, ninja style, again but then something awful happened.

I realised my head was stuck between the banisters. I was a prisoner!

**3 seconds later**

Luckily they didn't see me though because Liam had pulled Rosie back saying, "No, she's sleeping."

Rosie growled, "So? I'll wake her up."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Jas said quietly, probably remembering the last time she did that to me and I threw her owls out the window. Pfft, she deserved it.

"Well do you want her to just leave?"

"Why don't we just wait till morning?" Tom suggested and then everyone started talking over the top of each other doing a sort of quiet but fast-talking argument thing.

**5 seconds later**

Me, on the other hand, I'm now trying to pathetically remove my head from the brace of embarrassment.

Just... a little... to the side...

**10 seconds later**

I'm free! My ninja genes live on! Yes yes and thrice yes!

**2 seconds later**

No no and thrice no!

In all my excitement at being free everyone heard me and now they are silent as a silent thing and are all staring at me with googly eyes. Fab.

**1 second later**

The doorbell just rang and everyone's head snapped towards the door. The door that I couldn't see.

They then snapped them back to me. Then the door. Then me.

This went on for quite a while but you get the nub and gist.

**2 seconds later**

What? What's with the staring? Just answer the bloody door you fools!

**5 seconds later**

And then I heard it. His voice.

"Guys just let me in ok?"

Shit.

**10 seconds later**

I scrambled off the landing as fast as I could and ran into my room, shutting the door and leaning against it. I thought about changing out of my pyjamas then realised I never changed out of my outfit anyway. Oh well, that's one job down.

Now, how do I get out of this bloody house without Dave seeing?

Maybe I could climb out the window? That's ninja like right?

And let's face it; with all my skills displayed today I practically _am_ one.

"Georgia!" Someone whispered outside my door, interrupting my thoughts. How rude. And it was Jas.

"I'm not here!" I said back, rushing over to the window and opening it.

But then Jas barged in. Did she not just hear me? "Georgia what happened?" She said in a rushed tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said casually but then heard Dave shout "Just let me talk to her!" from downstairs and I could feel the tears coming back to my eyes.

"Georgia just tell me so I know what to do," She said and I think she actually wanted to help me. Bless Jassy Spassy.

But no.

**2 seconds later**

Attempting to climb out the window. And by attempt I mean that I am currently straddling the windowsill and clutching the window frames for dear life. Christ I'm high up for the first floor.

"Georgia get off there!" Jas yelled, rushing over and grabbing my arm.

Unfortunately, since the door was open, everyone heard from downstairs and we then heard everyone rush up here.

Everyone... including Dave.

**15 seconds later**

I relented to Jas and let her help me back inside the room just so I didn't fall out when I saw Dave's face. Even though I'm trying my best not to look at it.

"Georgia let me explain," he said in a strained voice, probably because everyone was staring at the two of us like goosegogs and I was very nearly blubbing again.

I shook my head and a few tears flew out. Damn it.

"What's going on?" Dec asked, looking more confused than Ellen. Crikey.

"Please Georgia..." Dave said but I refused to look at him or acknowledge him.

Jas, who was still holding my arm, sort of gripped it tighter and even though it hurt I was grateful. Ish.

As long as she doesn't cut off my blood circulation.

**5 seconds later**

"Come on guys someone say something," Rollo said and suddenly everyone started talking over the top of each other again except this time they weren't whispering and my head started to hurt.

Dave joined in every now and then but only to say that he just needed to talk to me and explain something blah blah blah.

I'm really not enjoying this right now.

**30 seconds later**

Still in the middle of a mass argument that I'm not even contributing to.

I just want it to end.

**2 seconds later**

"HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE!" I shouted at the top of my voice and everyone shut up suddenly, their faces looking rather flabbergasted. Yeah, I know that feeling. But I bet their hearts didn't feel as though they were being poked by a thousand spears.

Trust me, the feeling is not good.

**5 seconds later**

Nobody has said a word. The room is silent and Dave is looking at me with hurt in his eyes. How rich. _He's_ the one who cheated, not me.

**2 seconds later**

OH. MY. GOD!

Liam just walked in, took one look at Dave then punched him square in the face! And pretty hard as well! Dave went flying back in to the corridor.

Everyone sort of woke up from their goosegog daze then, (everyone but me) and the lads half-helped Dave up while Liam strode past him and down the stairs. We heard the door slam a few seconds later.

Once Dave was standing, looking a tad worse for wear which made me feel a lot better I have to say, Jas stood in front of me and said to him in her meanest voice, "You need to leave."

Yeyyyyy five stars for Jazzy Spazzy!

Dave just shrugged out of the grasps of his mates and shook his head in my direction sadly, "I need to explain."

Then Rosie took control. "I think you've done enough actually." She barked, "Leave before I set my Viking on you."

Sven then growled in a scary way. I know I'd run.

"This isn't right," Dave said and he sounded really desperate but I refused to acknowledge that. "Just give me a few minutes."

"No." Jas said angrily.

**11.45pm**

**In my room all aloney**

Dave has gone. He left a while ago actually.

The Ace Gang stayed with me for a bit and I told them the story of what happened – how I went to Dave's room and he was in there with his top off and a girl in her underwear next to him.

There was a lot of growling throughout from Rosie and hand-clamping-to-mouths from everyone but I just ignored it. Even though it wasn't that late I was suddenly feeling very tired.

They left me then and I tried to finally get to sleep.

**1 minute later**

But I can't. I can't fall asleep. And I keep thinking about where Dave is. And where Liam is.

I can't believe he punched Dave for me. I mean, I think it was for me. If not, it was a really big coincidence.

He hasn't come back. Liam I mean. I don't really want Dave to come back.

I don't think.

**Yes, i know that chapter wasn't very long but i wanted to end it there because I think the next one (or at least part of the next one) is going to be from someone else's poing of view. You see, I have written this scene from both Liam & Dave's point of view and I don't know which version to use. **

**So please will you comment and let me know who's point of view you would rather read at the start of the next chapter for a scene between the two guys. Liam or Dave?**

**Thankyou as always... and...**

**HORNS OUT ;D x**


	4. Frozen in Place

**Hey guys, here's chapter 3.**

**I've noticed that I always get loads more reviews when I don't update for ages and no where near as many when I do. And I know this is really rude of me but please pleaseyyy please would you mind reviewing if you read this? **

**It doesn't take long and I would really appreciate it - your comments are what keep me going :)**

**On a different note. I have read Louise Rennison's new book - "Withering Tights" and unfortunately, I didn't enjoy it :( **

**However, this is probably simply because I am 18 therefore not exactly the target audience. In fact, I probably shouldn't still enjoy Georgia but I do because I have grown up with the books. So I guess "Withering Tights" is aimed at the "new generation" so I guess they will enjoy it.**

**I just wish I had :(**

**Still, if you are around 13/14 I suggest you check it out, just for the hell of it. Why not eh?**

**happy readings x**

**Chapter 3: Frozen in Place**

"_HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE!" I shouted at the top of my voice and everyone shut up suddenly, their faces looking rather flabbergasted. _

_OH. MY. GOD!_

_Liam just walked in, took one look at Dave then punched him square in the face!..._

_... But I can't. I can't fall asleep. And I keep thinking about where Dave is. And where Liam is. _

_I can't believe he punched Dave for me. I mean, I think it was for me. If not, it was a really big coincidence. _

_He hasn't come back. Liam I mean. I don't really want Dave to come back. _

_I don't think. _

**Liam**

I'm not exactly sure why I punched Dave. Well, I know why I _wanted_ to, I just don't know why I did. Yes, the whole cheating thing hit a very strong nerve with me but so what? Why the hell should I give a damn about what goes on between him and Georgia? I should in no way want to get involved in that whole disaster of a relationship.

But I did. So now I am.

I hit him pretty hard too. Like, with feeling. Like I care.

But I _do_ care. Maybe not about Georgia, but about Dave. Come on, I thought he was a nice guy. A _decent_ guy. Turns out he's just a dick head like everybody else I know. Or _used_ to know.

Once I left the house, after the punching incident, I just walked around for a bit, not really sure where I was going. I ended up at some shitty little sad-excuse-for-a-lake that was god knows where in relation to the house where I'd left the others.

But I sat down anyway and ran a hand through my hair. This wasn't at all how I'd planned to do things over here. This was a new place, a new start. My Aunt and Uncle have been so kind looking after me. And Ellen... well she's not exactly the best at fitting in herself but she's done ok to help me get 'settled'.

And I treated everyone like shit. It's the way things normally go with me. But then, I don't know, they actually seemed like alright people, _nice_ people even, that I'd actually want to be friends with. Especially Dave, he was cool.

Or so I thought. Guess I was wrong right?

I don't know whether it was just a weird coincidence that he found me, or maybe I hadn't travelled as far away as I thought, but after a few minutes of sitting in silence, Dave came and joined me by the lake.

I looked over at him briefly – he was staring out onto the lake, his eyes seemingly tired and worried. I wondered for a moment whether I should be on guard – whether he would feel the need to get his own back and punch me, but then I knew he wouldn't.

"You hate me." Dave said after a while. It wasn't a question.

My gut reaction would have been to shout "yes" but for some reason I didn't. No, instead I said, "I don't know you well enough to hate you."

"I would understand though," Dave said wearily, "if you did. I know you probably think I'm just like Joe and Anna."

I winced as he said their names and I instantly felt that feeling again – that feeling of regret. I should never have told him about what happened before.

"See," Dave said, somehow noticing my discomfort even though he was still staring out in front of him. "You hate me."

"No," I said, shaking my head, "I hate what you did."

"I know," Dave said quietly, rubbing his face – the spot I assumed would be where my fist struck.

I nodded my head once, wondering why I hadn't walked away yet. Did I really need to be here? Dave wasn't my friend anymore, he was hardly worthy of my sympathy.

"I didn't do it though." Dave spoke up after a few more minutes of silence.

I cocked my head sideways and looked at him. "What?"

He continued to look straight ahead, "I didn't do it. I didn't sleep with her."

I frowned and was about to ask for answers when Dave continued, "Well, actually I did... but not tonight. Not when me and Georgia were together... never when we were together..." he trailed off.

I think it was sufficient to say that I was confused right then. "Dave," I said, pulling on his arm so he would turn round and finally meet my eye, "What the hell are you saying?"

He looked down at the ground before holding my gaze, "I slept with her. But not tonight. It was during the Christmas holidays when me and Georgia were broken up... after... _after_ I got my memory back."

Wow, the memory thing. God I'd forgotten how screwed up Dave and Georgia are. After he told me everything that had happened between them I thought he was playing me for a bloody idiot. They both need psycho-analysing in my opinion.

"So you've not slept with anyone while you've been with Georgia." I clarified.

Dave nodded eagerly, "No I haven't. I've not cheated."

I raised my eyebrows at him, unimpressed. "You think you've not cheated?" I growled, "You don't have to sleep with some random slut to cheat."

Dave dropped his gaze again, "I know... I don't know what I was thinking... I was just confused and upset and then I saw you and Georgia hugging and-"

"So you thought you'd go make yourself feel better and hook up with-"

"I know!" Dave interrupted, "I know I'm a complete jerk and I never should have let her come in the room but I _swear_ I never meant to hurt Georgia. I _swear_..."

I shook my head sadly and patted Dave's shoulder lightly as I stood up, "Well then sorry mate, cos I'm pretty sure you did."

**Sunday January 22****nd**

**12.00am**

**Under a prickly bush**

**Or rather **_**in**_** a bush**

**Either way, I'm not that comfy**

I couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a walk. I did not, however, plan on bumping into Liam and Dave having a little heart to heart. Well, I didn't literally bump into them – they haven't even seen me.

Or at least they hadn't until Liam got up and started walking away. Towards where I was hid. In a bush. A prickly one.

I tried to stay as still as a still thing, hoping he would just walk right on past me but of course, Big G was clearly watching so must have pointed me out for him.

"Georgia what are you doing?" he whispered, glancing back to make sure Dave hadn't seen, he hadn't, then crouching down next to me.

I looked up at Liam and gave a truthful answer, "I have no idea."

Liam shook his head at me, "How much did you hear?"

I shrugged, "How long were you talking for?"

Liam rolled his eyes, before staring at me for a while then back at Dave (who now had his head in his hands). "Do you love him?" He asked me suddenly. It was a bit weird, Liam asking my feelings. I mean, until half an hour ago I didn't even think he had any.

I looked him in the eyes, "I... I know I did..." I said quietly, "...but then I saw... that girl."

Liam nodded, "That's fair enough. And I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you turned around now and never spoke to him again."

I frowned. Something was missing. Something like a – "...but?" I said without thinking.

Liam sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair, "...but... maybe, if you think you could possibly still love him..."

I shook my head, "I'm confused." Understatement of the century. "I thought you-"

"You know what," Liam butted in, "this is really none of my business. I'll see you in a few hours." Then he got up and just walked away, leaving me annoyingly flabbergasted in the prickly bush.

I waited a few moments until Liam was definitely far enough away that Dave wouldn't hear anything then ran up to him.

"Liam," I said (rather breathily because I had been puff puff and pant pant-ing). "Hold on."

He glanced over at me but didn't stop walking, "What?"

"Just..." I put a hand on his arm then pulled it away like a speedy thing, "what happened with Joe and Anna?"

He stopped pretty quick then. Like quicker than a quick thing in quick land. "So you did hear a lot." He grumbled.

"Sorry," I said automatically though not really sure why I was apologising. So what if I heard them? There's not a law against that. Is there? "But... who are they?"

Liam glared at me instantly and I took a step back because he looked like Angus normally does before he strikes. But then his face relaxed a bit and he ran a hand through his hair yet again.

"They... well... one used to be my girlfriend... and the other used to be my best friend."

I sort of got the feeling where this was going (sharp as a tact me) but decided to ask anyway, "What happened?" And Liam must have known this was coming because he sat down on a nearby rock.

I sat down next to him. Jas would be proud – me getting in touch with nature and all that jazz.

"Me and Anna dated for a year," Liam said quietly. So quietly that I had to lean in a tad in order to hear him. "Two weeks after our anniversary I found out about them. It was weird because you'd think they would have told me before. At least Joe, we were practically brothers. And it had been going on for a good few months."

I gulped. This was pretty intense.

"But no, they didn't tell me. Instead, I had the pleasure of walking in on them in Anna's room when I had gone round to wish her Happy Birthday."

"Ouch," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Liam nodded, "You're telling me..."

"Thank you" I said. "...for punching Dave."

He gave a curt laugh, "Right."

"I guess he reminded you of Joe then right?"

Liam paused before answering, running a hand through his hair. Christ he does that a lot. "At first... yes. But then..." he sighed, "...no. No, Dave isn't like Joe. Joe constantly lied to me and just pretended to be my best friend. And Anna, she never really wanted me. She just didn't have the balls to admit it because I was easy. Her safety net. She wanted Joe all along."

I nodded along, pretending I understood perfectly.

"But Dave," Liam continued, meeting my eye, "Dave isn't like either of them. Because Dave loves you. He's just too screwed up to know what to do when things get hard. You're both screwed up."

Wow, that's... oh I don't know.

"Are you defending Dave?" I questioned because that would just be vair vair freaky bananas after everything Liam has just told me.

Liam shrugged, "Not sure. But remember... Dave isn't like Joe or Anna. Ok?"

I nodded, my eyes frozen like lemons as Liam got up and walked away.

What in the name of bouncing lederhosen should I do now?

**2 minutes later**

Ok, I have four options.

I can follow Liam all the way back to the house, go to sleep, wake up early and then leave and never talk to Dave again

I could turn around and go and talk to Dave now and see what he wants to say to me

Go to sleep now but stay in the morning when I'm more awake and see Dave then

Let Jazzy Spazzy decide

**30 seconds later**

Number 4 does sound like the best option in my opinion. And I'm sure all the owls would agree.

**5 minutes later**

Dave is on the move. As in he's moving. With his legs. They do that I think.

Well most do, mine are currently frozen in place. Like frozen things.

Fab.

**2 minutes later**

"Georgia? Is that you?"

Oh merde. I think he's seen me.

**Lots and lots of Gee/Dave stuff in the next chapter.**

**Again, (I'm like a whiny vole now) please review, ALL of you that read this, it would make my day :)**

**thanks,**

**HORNS OUT! ;D**

**x**


	5. Baaaaring Mad

**Hey Hey!**

**Ok, first of all, I understand if you are all rather annoyed at moi since I promised you I would update regularly and then went agessss without doing so.**

**But here is my apology - a super long chapter like old times and more to come! yeyyyy!**

**Thankyou _so_ much to those of you who reviewed, it really does inspire me to write... (ew, too cheesy :P)**

**horns out ;D**

**Chapter 4 – Baaaaaring Mad**

"_HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE!" I shouted at the top of my voice and everyone shut up suddenly, their faces looking rather flabbergasted. _

_OH. MY. GOD!_

_Liam just walked in, took one look at Dave then punched him square in the face!..._

_... Ok, I have four options. _

_I can follow Liam all the way back to the house, go to sleep, wake up early and then leave and never talk to Dave again_

_I could turn around and go and talk to Dave now and see what he wants to say to me_

_Go to sleep now but stay in the morning when I'm more awake and see Dave then_

_Let Jazzy Spazzy decide..._

_...Dave is on the move..._

_**2 minutes later**_

"_Georgia? Is that you?"_

_Oh merde. I think he's seen me. _

**Sunday January 22****nd**

**12.15am**

**Back in an awkward situation. How very odd for me. **

I just stared up at Dave in a starey way. You know, the one where I look like a goosegog: wide eyes, open mouth, ever so attractive wouldn't you say?

"Georgia?" he said again then decided to take advantage of my frozen, goosegogglyness and crouched down next to me. "Just let me talk to you ok? I can explain. I never meant to-"

"I have to go!" I shouted, springing to life suddenly like I'd just been electrocuted. Yikes. "I... I..." I was running round in circles that's what I was doing. And for once I'm not speaking metaphorically.

**5 seconds later**

"This way!" I declared, pointing my arm in a random direction and then walking off.

**30 seconds later**

Dave just scrambled up off the ground and is now walking level with me.

"Look, I know why you're mad. I was an idiot, a jerk I know, but I just really wish you'd let me explain. Why can't you just listen to me?"

He spun me round then and nearly knocked me over. See, he was probably anticipating that I would have some sort of super strength Dave-resistant force field. But alas, I am just me and therefore a weakly weakling.

**2 seconds later**

And nearly going flying was not even the worst thing about being spun around. See now I was face to face with Dave.

As in vair vair close. I could see his swirly brown and green eyes. They're hypnotising is what they are. And just like that, quicker than it takes Jassy to put on her extra big knickers, I knew why I hadn't, as yet, let Dave talk to me about everything that's recently happened.

And yes you fools, it is a shock to me too because I am always the last to know why my body decides to do stuff. Apparently my brain just likes to keep me in the dark.

It is very rude like that.

**10 seconds later**

Anyway I tried to breathe and ignore how close I actually was to such a groovy looking boy.

"Georgia?" He said in a quieter voice, "Why can't you just hear me out?"

I looked up really slowly and held his gaze. Which was rather hard to do actually because I was shivering like a loon. Come on people, it is January!

**1 second later**

"I..." I gulped. "Because I don't want to forgive you."

There. There, I said it. Even though it's not everything I'm currently thinking... but I've always been a bit slow.

But what I said is true. See if Dave does explain himself to me then he will probably end up making me see reason and I am fed up of not sticking up for myself because of how fit (like _uber_ fit) the guy is.

Yes, I know I know, I've done mucho crappiness in my time, but I think I've been given it too.

And now ladies and gentlemen, Georgia Nicolson is taking a stand.

**0.5 seconds later**

And if I look in Dave's amazingly groovy eyes any longer I think that the call of the Horn will catch up with me and bite me in the botty area.

Even if it is the specific Horn. That's not the point.

The point is that I don't want to cave or give in. I want to be Miss Independent – life from that Destiny's Child song.

Well actually, if I'm thinking about people I want to be then why don't I just skip to Beyonce? I mean, with a bit of highly skilled training I'm fairly sure I can shake my booty like her easy peasy.

And if not, I could always try it with my nose. It's big and squishy enough.

**2 seconds later**

"What?" Dave croaked and I suddenly snapped back to the crappio situation I was in.

I quickly took a step back and blinked really hard.

I'm not exactly sure why... maybe I thought I could make Dave disappear. Or maybe it was to stop my tears.

Tears that are not sliding out of my eyes and down my cheeks. Good job holding it together Gee. Geesh.

Ha! See what I did there? GEE. GEEsh! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

**1 second later**

No! Focus brain FOCUS!

**1 second later**

"What do you mean?" Dave whispered. He looks really upset. Or confused. Or both.

I shook my head sadly and wiped away a tear. "I don't want to forgive. I _can't_ forgive you."

Dave frowned, "You say that like someone is _forcing_ you not to."

"Someone is," I declared, "...me."

"I don't understand," Dave said, taking a step forward, towards me.

I took one back. "I don't understand why you..." gulp, "...why you were with that girl..."

Dave ran a hand through his hair, "So let me explain, I'll help you understand."

I shook my head quickly, "No, I don't _want_ to understand."

His gaze softened then and when he closed the gap between us this time I didn't move away. Dave then leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine.

"Because you think you'll forgive me?" He checked.

Another tear slipped out but I managed to answer, "Yes."

"I am _so_ sorry," Dave whispered and even with just that one sentence I could feel the Horn creeping on me, ready to attack and forcing me into reordering the Dave the Tart.

No! I will not cave! No!

**1 second later**

I stepped back quickly, "I have to go."

Dave tried on last time, "Please..." He pleaded.

I shook my head and ran. I ran like a running thing who needed to get away speedily. Which is exactly what I was.

**12.22am**

So it was really rather unfortunate that I tripped up after about 5 metres of running. Stupid twig.

And I fell. Hard. I think I hit my head too. Everything went a bit blury for a few seconds.

**1 second later**

"Georgia!" Someone called from by my side, "Gee are you alright?"

I turned my head sideways and felt something dripping down my face.

Seriously? I have my blubbing fit _now_? When I'm face down on the ground? Just fab. Thanks Big G, yet again.

But it wasn't tears. I touched my hand to my face and it came back red. Covered in blood.

I gulped. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Don't look at it," Dave ushered, "Look at me, just look at me."

I thought this was a tad big-headed of him to be honest. How does he know it wasn't _him_ that was making me feel sick eh? I mean, fair enough, he's vair vair groovy gravy looking and hot and his body is yummy scrumboes and his lips are phwwwoar with their nip libbing and his eyes are so big and pretty right now and... what was I talking about?

**5 seconds later**

Dave reached for my hand, "Can you get up?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I can get up you twit!" I pulled my hand back and pushed off the ground to stand up.

Well, I tried, but apparently gravity had other plans for me and I fell right back down onto the ground again.

Or at least I would have done had Dave not been there to catch me.

**2 seconds later**

"We have to go now ok?" Dave said, talking vair vair slowly like I was as dim witted as Astonishingly Dim Monica. Which, was we all know, is so high on the dim witted scale that it's frankly an embarrassment to the clever people. A.k.a: moi.

**1 second later**

"We need someone to look at your head." He finished.

I tried to stand up right and glare at Dave. Did he just insult my head? There is nothing wrong with my head.

"There is nothing wrong with my head," I told him.

"Georgia, you fell pretty badly. We need to go to the doctor or someone."

I pouted "What about _your_ head?"

Dave faltered, "Erm... well what about my head?"

I threw my arms up in the air, subsequently wacking Dave in the chest. "_God_, everything is _not_ about youuuuuu!" I cried.

He frowned. Satisfied, I began to march off in triumph. Well, more like stumble off... or around in a small circle.

He grabbed my hand again and this time put his other arm around my waist. "We're going to the hospital," he declared and half lead, half carried me off into the forest-type place.

**10 seconds later**

I glanced sideways at him. "Are we going to the hospital for your eye?" I asked. "It's not looking too spiffing right now if you ask me. Liam must be vair vair strong. You sort of look like one of those lady-men from Blackpool who put their makeup on funny like Libby did to Josh." I poked him in the side. "Are you a lady-man Dave?"

He didn't even look at me, just carried on leading me forward, "No."

I nodded in a wise old way like a nodding dog. "Good. I would hate to have to tell the Olds that my boyfriend wants to be a woman. Although, Vati has worn some rather questionable outfits himself..."

Dave stopped still then and stared at me, "I'm still your boyfriend?"

He looks rather confused. Hmmm.

"What do you mean _still_?" I asked. "Did you _dump_ me? Am I back on the rack of love needing to buy many rats...cats so when I'm an old nun-type folk I have company other than the local cobwebs?"

Dave stared at me some more. How rude. "Georgia, do you know where you are?"

I rolled my eyes. "Do _you_ know where _you _are?"

Wait a yellow-bellied, pantalooning, Grandvati's cycling shortin' second. Where _am_ I? There's... wildlife... trees... more trees... another tree...

"Are we in Jazzy Spazzy's dream?" I asked, rather proud of myself if I do say so myself and I do.

Dave just sighed though and we started moving again. "We're going to the hospital. _Now_."

I patted him on the head. "Okay Davey Wavey."

Then I looked around quickly in the darkness to make sure no one was near before leaning in close to his ear and whispering, "Do you think they will fix my nose?"

**1.15am**

_I was in my jimjams stood in a field – a field in the middle of nowhere. All I could see_

_was grass, grass and more grass. How depressing._

_But then I turned around another time and suddenly there was a huge, massive_

_hole in the middle of the field filled with this watery stuff. Or, you know, it was a pool._

_I did a quick glance around to make sure no one was around then stripped out off my_

_jimjams and ran to jump into the pool in the nuddypants._

_Then the water changed to chocolate as I was swimming around. I know for sure_

_because I accidentally swallowed a mouthful of it and it tasted yummy scrumboes._

_Double cool with knobs on._

_That was when I heard voices, and suddenly a number of the most gorgey porgy guys_

_I have ever seen started diving, bombing, jumping and just generally climbing into the_

_pool._

_As soon as my brain reconnected with my body I quickly moved my arms to cover my_

_rudey-dudey parts and crossed my legs. Well, until I realised that I was now in fact_

_wearing a bikini. Made of coconuts. A cokini. Interesting._

_I thought I would do a bit of flirting with these hot guys, just out of respect for their_

_hotness. And, you know, to keep my boy-magnet, entrancing skills in tip top shape. I like_

_to look after my body in that way._

_So I started to edge over to one in that Sex Kitty way that I have perfected myself. I_

_tried to do a bit of hip wiggling and flicky flicking on the way but I couldn't reach the_

_floor of the chocolate pool so this made things a tad difficult, but I worked with it._

"_Oh… hi," I said, flitting my eye lashes at the groovy boy and I could even see them they_

_were so long! My eye lashes I mean, not the boy. Well, obviously I could see the boy_

_but I didn't think he was the one that was so long._

_Well, he might be, how would I know?_

_Oh, you cheeky minxes, now you have me thinking about his rudey boy parts! Shame_

_on you all._

_He noticed me then and stared at me intently with blue eyes. They were a sort_

_of sky blue and very phwwwwoar if you know what I mean and I think you do._

"_Wow," he uttered and his voice was rather low and fittish too, "You… look… like the_

_most beautiful thing I have ever seen."_

_And he's honest as well! This boy has everything!_

_I smiled seductively, keeping my tongue behind my teeth and stopping my nose from_

_flaring. I said, "Well, sometimes people are just lucky I guess," with a wink._

_But I only got as far as "Well, sometimes" because then he started to move around me!_

_I frowned and swivelled round to find him holding a sheep's head between his hands!_

_It wasn't just a head, there was a body there too, but obviously he couldn't hold_

_a whole sheep's body in his hands unless it was vair vair small. Which it wasn't._

_My jaw dropped open and I suspect I gave my best goosegog expression ever. He_

_wasn't talking about me at all! He had been talking to the sheep!_

"_I have to know your name!" He cried and when the sheep 'baaaa' ed his head fell down_

_regretfully._

_This guy is baaaaaring mad! Being rejected by a sheep!_

_As the sheep sort of swam away I made my way over to the guy, ready to comfort him_

_because I am kind like that. But when I put my hand on his shoulder he just vanished!_

_Disappeared! Gone!_

"_Hey!" I exclaimed then looked around the chocolate pool to find that all the other lads_

_had left too! Then the chocolate suddenly began to change back into water and my_

_groovy cokini disappeared._

_I quickly sank lower into the water to hide my rudey dudey parts until I spotted my jim_

_jams on the side of the pool and rushed over to then._

_Then I heard it._

"_Georgia Nicolson." It said, loud and blaring and making me frozen one second then_

_leaping like a leaping fish the next out of the pool (which disappeared behind me) and_

_over to my jimjams so I could put them back on._

"_Georgia Nicolson." It said again and I frantically looked up seeing as the sound seemed_

_to be coming from the sky._

"_Big G?" I cried out, waving my arms around up above. "Big G is that you?"_

"_Georgia Nicolson," the third time, which I took to mean an acknowledgement of myself_

_being correct._

"_I'm so sorry I said all that horrible stuff about you!" I shouted up quickly, "And I was_

_never going to turn to Buddha! Not really! The shrine was just to trick him! Not that I like_

_tricking people… I'm honest! I swear!"_

_Silence._

"_Say something!" I called, "Do you forgive me?"_

"_Georgia Nicolson." Great. You know, for an all-knowing, all-powerful being like Big G,_

_he's not all there with the words._

_But then again, I would say he has selected his limited vocabulary very well indeed,_

_wouldn't you?"_

"_Georgia Nicolson." Ahh see, he's illustrating my point, perfect._

"_Georgia Nicolson." Yes, I know… wonderful._

"_Georgia Nicolson." That's ok, I've got it now._

"_Georgia Nicolson." Seriously? It's just going to go on like this_

"_Georgia Nicolson."_

**1 second later**

"WHAT?" I screamed.

I blinked. I wasn't in the field talking to Big G anymore I was sat in a room full of people

with Dave sitting next to me, staring at me like I was crazy.

He gulped. "Erm… Georgia, they're ready for you now," he said and then I heard it over

the tanoy system:

"Georgia Nicolson."

Everything suddenly came flooding back to me from the last… this night.

Oasis. Dave's room. Dave's girl. Dave's girl in Dave's room. Liam. Dave. Liam punching

Dave. Liam leaving. Dave leaving. Liam telling me about Anna and Joe. Dave spotting

me. Me running. Falling. Hitting my head.

**10 seconds later**

I groaned, just as Dave stood up and offered his hand.

I ignored it and walked past him into a room where a Doctor guy was half standing, half

sitting at the edge of his desk. He wasn't at all like Dr Clooney. In fact, he was more

portly and hence more Vati like. How disappointing.

"Hi," he said, "I'm Doctor Weinburg."

Hmmm, that sounds German. I wonder if he knows the Kochs? Maybe I should ask

him…

"So Georgia," Dr Koch began, "I hear you took a nasty fall and hit you head."

I nodded. "Yeah…"

Then he put on some gloves and grabbed some bandages and stuff. "Well first of all,"

he explained, "I'm just going to clean up the wound to stop any infections ok?"

I nodded again. It was becoming quite a character trait for me.

**15 minutes later**

Still sitting in Dr Koch's office with Dave and Dr Koch himself

My head has got a hugemongus bandage on. Bigger than Jas's knickers by far. I bet

I look like Mr Bump. Or Humpty Dumpty. I tried to sneak a look in the mirror that was

behind Dr Kock but it was too far up the wall to see. Even with me straining my neck till

it practically spazzed out.

**30 seconds later**

"Right, seems that's all sorted," Dr Koch said, "You'll have to get it changed soon, but

we'll come to that after." He picked up a clipboard from behind him and pulled a pen out

of his top pocket.

"I just need to ask you some questions about the accident," He glanced at Dave quickly

then back at me. "Normally we ask all others to leave unless they're family members,

which I believe you are not?" He checked, now looking at Dave again who shook his

head.

Dave got up to leave but I said, "It's ok, Dave can stay."

Dr Koch narrowed his eyes slightly, "I think it's better if I talk to you on your own about

what happened actually." Then he gave Dave a very pointed look.

That I didn't understand. But then again, when do I ever?

**2 seconds later**

Dave seemed to though, because suddenly he said (rather loudly as well) "What? No! I

did not do this to her!"

I straightened up and frowned at them both, then finally caught on to what Dr Koch was

suggesting. "You think Dave hit me?" I checked.

He looked at me and held my gaze. "I'm just following out the procedure I'm afraid and

yes; it may have occurred to me that you did not obtain that injury of yours entirely by

yourself."

"Well she did!" Dave butted in angrily, which probably didn't help matters to be honest.

Dr Koch didn't seem too fazed, "Sir, please will you calm down or I will be forced to

have you removed anyway."

Dave glared at him, "Don't bother, I'm leaving."

**5 seconds later**

Dave had the door opened when I finally managed to say, "Don't leave me." It was

meant to come out all stern and in control, like the Miss Independent thing I talked about

before.

But instead it sounded all pathetic like. Fab.

Dave's eyes softened though and he said, "I'll be in the waiting room. I'm not

going anywhere." Then he gave me a nod before shutting the door behind him.

**10 minutes later**

I told Dr Koch everything that happened. Well, everything that happened regarding me

running through the woods at half 12 in the middle of the night and tripping up over a

measly twig.

And when he raised his eyebrows about the twig incident (as if no one could be that

uncoordinated or stupid… but alas, I am) I thought I would add in a little joke to lighten

the mood and said, in an all serious tone:

"Oh, I am very skilled."

That got him a bit. But then I realised he had a strange expression on his face – as in,

he wasn't smiling. How odd.

Clearly Dr Koch does not have a sense of humour. Shame.

**2.30am**

**Back at Oasis**

Dave and me took at Taxi back. He's just paying the guy.

We haven't said two words to each other ever since I came out of Dr Koch's office. Well,

I thought about it but didn't quite know what to say. And clearly Dave was thinking the

same thing.

Or he just didn't want to talk to me.

Which really shouldn't be a problem since it was me that didn't want to talk to him

before.

**5 minutes later**

Dave walked me to my house/cabin place. All the lights were on so I'm guessing the

others weren't up yet. Probably worried sick about me. Probably…

**10 seconds later**

I moved to go in but Dave held my arm and I turned to face him.

"Look…" he began quietly, "I get it. I get you not wanting to forgive me for this but… I

swear, I never wanted to do this to you. That wasn't what it was. Hell, I don't know what

it was because it didn't mean anything. Ok?"

I nodded, tired and weary and not sure whether I believed him.

"And tonight at the hospital I… I'm sorry I got so mad it's just… when he suggested that

I hurt you… I would never hurt you…" he trailed off and ran a hand through his hair.

"…except you did." I finished, equally as quiet. So quiet in fact that I wasn't even sure I

said it.

Dave looked into my eyes and although I'd blubbed many times in front of him, there

were only a few times that I could ever recall him crying.

But he was now. I could see the tears.

**2 minutes later**

I left Dave outside and went through the door to find all the Ace Gang, the guys and

even Liam sitting in the lounge. When they saw me everyone got up and rushed over.

They were saying stuff like:

"Oh Gee I was so worried!"

"I'm so glad you're ok!"

"We missed you!"

I tried to smile at them and told them that my head was fine, I just tripped but went to

the hospital and it's sorted now – I just need to have my bandaged changed in a week's

time.

They all hugged me in turn and then Liam came up and stood opposite. He asked the

question nobody else had thought of.

"Who took you to the hospital?"

I glanced to the door and then looked through the window next to it. I swear I saw a dark

figure there looking back at me but then it suddenly disappeared.

I turned back to Liam and held his gaze before answering. "Dave."

**So... worth a review? :P**

**horns out ;D**


	6. What, like matey mates?

**Hold up, what is this? Another chapter already when it hasn't been a month or a rather long period of time? I know what you're thinking, this has to be some kind of trick...**

**But alas it isn't! I am updating in speedy time! Yeyyyy! **

**And it's a rather long chapter if I say so myself... because, you know, it _is_. **

**I hope you all enjoy it, they finally go home in this one and then there's just more mad antics back in loonyville :)**

**Horns out ;D**

**Chapter 5: What, like matey mates?**

_I moved to go in but Dave held my arm and I turned to face him._

"_Look…" he began quietly, "I get it. I get you not wanting to forgive me for this but… I_

_swear, I never wanted to do this to you. That wasn't what it was. Hell, I don't know what_

_it was because it didn't mean anything. Ok?"_

_I nodded, tired and weary and not sure whether I believed him._

"_And tonight at the hospital I… I'm sorry I got so mad it's just… when he suggested that_

_I hurt you… I would never hurt you…" he trailed off and ran a hand through his hair._

"…_except you did." I finished, equally as quiet. So quiet in fact that I wasn't even sure I_

_said it..._

_...I tried to smile at them and told them that my head was fine, I just tripped but went to_

_the hospital and it's sorted now – I just need to have my bandaged changed in a week's_

_time._

_They all hugged me in turn and then Liam came up and stood opposite. He asked the_

_question nobody else had thought of._

"_Who took you to the hospital?"_

_I glanced to the door and then looked through the window next to it. I swear I saw a dark_

_figure there looking back at me but then it suddenly disappeared._

_I turned back to Liam and held his gaze before answering. "Dave."_

**Sunday 22nd January**

**11:00am**

**Still in bloody Oasis**

I did plan on getting up early – like at the crack of Owl's awakening early – I'm sure of

it. I was going to be up and out before anyone knew anything – therefore, not having to

ask any questions from the likes of the Ace Gang etc.

Except Liam would know something of course, as I would be taking him up on his early

morning ride…

In his car you minxes!

But I didn't wake up super early as planned. Probably because yesterday was like…

the longest bloody day ever. It went on for yonks. So clearly my body needed to catch

up on some much needed zzzzs. And forgot to tell my brain that it was having a lie in.

However, not all is lost. I mean, no one is up yet as far as I know. Well, I'm only in

my room at the moment but let's face it, if the Ace Gang were already up I would

have heard them. Rosie is not as quiet in the silent department as she thinks she is.

So clearly my quick getaway is still possible! Assar!

**5 minutes later**

I sneakily sneaked downstairs, careful to miss any steps that looked a little high on the

floor-creaking scale and edge over to the sofa. Liam was fast asleep so I crouched

down in order to whisper in his ear.

"Liam," I said.

Nothing.

"Liiiiiiam!" I hissed. He just groaned a little then everything went silent again. Great, he's

one of those deep sleepers like my Vati. You could set fireworks off around him and he

wouldn't wake up.

This is vair vair annoying and not what I need right now. Doesn't his sleeping-self know

that I'm trying to make a sneaky getaway here?

I hit him in the side. "Get up you fool!"

He didn't though. Instead he tried to attack me!

Well, when I say attack I mean one of his arms started to wave around in the air as if he

was trying to swat a fly. But no, he got me instead. And then had the nerve to just roll

over so he was facing the other way. I swear, sleeping Liam is ruder than awake Liam.

**1 minute later**

I ran round the edge of the sofa and used all my amazing strength to try and shake it.

But of course it didn't budge because I'm a weakly weakling.

So instead I just grabbed the sheet that Liam was sleeping on, gave it a sharp tug and

suddenly he went flying off the couch onto the floor.

Wow, maybe I'm stronger than I thought!

**5 seconds later**

"What the…" Liam murmured, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes from

the floor. He looked up to find me stood next to him. Safe to say – he glared.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" I growled.

I quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shushhh! We are being quiet people and

making a sneaky getaway," I told him.

He looked ready to argue, then suddenly he sighed and became all tired-like. "Fine." He

said, but my hand was still over his mouth so it came out a bit muffled and I got Liam-

slobber all over me.

Ewwwww!

I snapped my hand back quickly and wiped it on his top. He rolled his eyes but I didn't

care because we were going to leave! Yey!

"You got your stuff?" Liam asked, climbing up off the ground.

I took a step back, nodding like a nodding nod.

"Well then, let's go."

**11.45am**

**On the Motorway**

**Next to grouchy Liam**

"Will you just stop changing the station?" Liam barked at me.

I just glared at him and continued. I like to find good tunes to listen when I'm in the car.

But apparently there aren't any decent ones on at the mo.

"Don't you have a CD or something?" I asked.

He smirked slightly and nodded towards the front compartment. I reached in and

grabbed the CD there then shoved it into the player.

**5 seconds later**

Oh holy mackerel this is the worse. Music. EVER! It's just screaming! Constant

screaming!

It hurtsssss. Oh how it hurrrrrtttttsssss. Please Big G, please make it stop!

**30 seconds later**

Oh, there's an eject button.

**1 minute later**

I grabbed the CD when it came out and flung it back into the front pocket thing, shutting

the door tight.

"You actually like that music of the crap kind?" I asked Liam.

Liam scoffed, "Don't be thick."

I frowned, "Then why is it in your bloody car?"

"It was Anna's."

Wow… awkward.

**30 seconds later**

"So… how long since you guys… I mean, did you two… when did you…" Christ Jassy

makes more sense talking about newts and whatnot.

Luckily though, Liam seemed to understand my crazy talk and said, "We broke up at the

beginning of last month."

"Oh," I said because 'oh' was all I could think of.

Well, you know, until I thought of something else…

"And you still have her CD in your car?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. "That

needs to change."

Liam sort of coughed/spluttered/choked… or something along those lines and raised his

eyebrows at me. "Seriously? I'm getting relationship advice from you?"

I thought that was a tad cruel but I let it slide because I am full of maturiosity like that.

And, you know, I was in his car and wouldn't put it past him to chuck me out. And I do

not look good being squished as flat as a flat… squirrel on the motorway and that is le

fact.

Instead I gave a little "hmmpff" and did that thing that posh ladies do when they stretch

out their necks and turn their head to the side. Whilst sticking out their nose of course

but I felt my nose is big enough already so I left this part out.

**2 seconds later**

"But it really can't be good for to have it in your car still." I blurted out. Again.

Liam rolled his eyes, "You really can't drop anything can you?"

I rolled my eyes back at him. Although he was back to looking at the road at this point

so didn't see. "Maybe I just like to help people in my helpful ways. Did you ever think of

that eh?"

"No." Wow… can you answer any faster?

"And why not?"

Liam smirked, "Because it's bullshit."

My mouth fell open in a somewhat fishy pose. "No it's not. I am helpful. I'm a helpful

helper that's what I am. I can be helpful."

He waved his left hand around in the air for a moment. Is he trying to swat non-existing

flies again? "Example…?" He finally said.

I straightened up in my seat. "Well I… I…" Holy moly on high I can't think of anything!

Why can't I think of anything? I'm a helpful person! I've done lots of helpful things!

Loads! Tones!

Now if only I could think of just one…

**2 minutes later**

I'd been silent for rather a long time and Liam was enjoying himself too much so I

suddenly did the first thing that came to my head. I yanked open the front box thing,

grabbed the she-devil CD and flung it out the window.

Liam looked at me incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?" You know, he says

that an awful lot.

I just blinked really slowly. "What?"

His eyes went really wide. "I said, what the hell are you doing?"

"Oh," I said, giving a smile, "I'm giving you an example of my helpfulness."

He gritted his teeth and I saw his hands clench around the wheel. Maybe I should have

done the CD-out-the-window thing when we weren't travelling at 80 miles an hour down

the motorway…

Meh, what's done is done. Lack a day not and tooth's away!

"How is you chucking my stuff away helping?" Liam snapped angrily.

"Ok calm down Mr I've-got-a-seriously-big-stick-up-my-PANTS, if you just take a

moment you will come to understand that what I did was as wise as it was helpful."

"You're bloody mad!" Was all he yelled back. That's not very nice is it?

"Or… do you mean amazingly helpful?" I tried.

**10 seconds later**

Liam keeps glancing between me and the road, an incredulous look on his face. Or it

started off as that, now it's turned sort of… amused.

"Oh no, I stand by what I said, you are most definitely mad." But when he said it, he was doing this strange thing... he was smiling. And I think we all know that seeing a smile on Liam's face is rarer than seeing my Vati squeeze into his clown car without getting his gigantibus behind stuck. I.e. very rare.

I didn't say anything though, because I figured we were having what normal people call a "nice, bonding moment". Whereas I think of it as "that small space of time between arguing".

It did make me feel quite nice though, making Liam smile. Quite an achievement actually. I feel like James Bond; conquering the impossible.

**1 minute later**

A phone just rang and because it was so silent in the car I practically jumped out my seat. It also took me a good few moments to find out where the ringing was coming from and then I remembered that Vati had leant me his phone and therefore the ringing was for moi!

**30 seconds later**

"Helllllo?" I answered in a posh-totty kind of voice. Very swish and fab if I say so myself and I do.

"Georgia?"

"Jas?"

"Georgia!" Oh boy, this can't be good. She doesn't sound happy.

"Glad we've established our names," I said, "Now to what do I owe the honour of your call Jazzy Spazzy?"

"Oh, I don't know," she began, using that tone where she thinks she's being cleverly sarcastic when really she just sounds like a confused twit... which is what she is. "Why don't you tell me where the heck you are?"

"Now now Jassy," I said in a calm-at-all-times-voice. "Say the magic word."

"What?" She replied. Dear dear, she can be vair vair dim sometimes.

"No, not what," I corrected her, "I'll give you a clue. It starts with 'p' and ends in 'lease'."

There was some scuffling with the phone and I could hear murmurs on the other end but then finally she said, and not in a happy voice I might add, "_Please_ tell me where you are."

"There there, that wasn't so hard now was it?" I said then before she could use her Owly powers and kill me through the phone I added, "I'm on my way home."

"She's on her way home," I heard Jas repeat, probably to the rest of the Ace Gang and Barmy Army.

"We're about half an hour away."

"She's half an hour away."

"Liam's driving."

"Liam's driving."

"I kiss my stuffed Owls goodnight."

"I kiss my stuffed Owls goodnight."

Everything went silent for a second then I heard everyone in the background suddenly break out in laughter, full-frontal style. Hahahahahaha I am le comic genius.

"Toodlepip!" I called down the phone and quickly hung up. And she can't even biff me for it!

I hope...

**5 minutes later**

"I need the loo."

"We're nearly back!" Liam exasperated.

I pouted at him, "But I... I _neeeeeed_ the loo." I said pointedly, and gave him a funny stare that was somehow a mix between being cross-eyed and just looking mentally deranged. Or, you know, both...

Liam looked at me for a moment, his expression changed from annoyed to uncomfortable. Then he said, "Oh...erm... well... right, sure." And we turned off at the next services.

Huh? Why is he agreeing with me all of a sudden? And he's lost for words.

**1 minute later**

Oh Christ on Bike I think I just made Liam think that I've got the Painter's in! Oh well, live and let live I say. I'll get over it.

**3 minutes later**

**In the car park at the services**

"I'll stay here," Liam said.

"What if I get attacked by strange people or just spend all their time lurking around service stations like lurky lurkers looking for helpless girls like me who desperately need to visit Tart's Wardrobe?"

Liam rolled his eyes and gave a half sigh, "If you get attacked by lurk- ... by _people_ then you can ring me."

I frowned, "I don't have your number."

He shrugged, "Looks like you'll have to pee fast then."

"Give me your phone." I told him.

Liam just looked at me with raised eyebrows, "Err let me think about that... no."

"It makes sense – I know my number so I'll leave my phone with you so that I can call it if I need rescuing from the lurkers and then you can ring your number from my phone if I don't return in 10 minutes and have clearly been kidnapped. Oui?"

"No."

**30 seconds later**

"You know," I said, having a flash of the whatsit, "the sooner you give me your phone the sooner we can get out of here and back home..."

**12.03pm**

**Location: Services. Tart's Wardrobe to be precise**

I just entered the cubicle and locked the door when Liam's phone started to ring. Picking it up I said, "I've haven't been attacked by any lurkers yet I've barely made it to the bloody loo you fool! You're going to have to be more patient you know."

"Georgia?"

Oh... PANTS! It's not Liam. Oh baby bejesus in holy heaven. It's not Liam.

Don't say anything, don't talk, don't cough, don't make a noise. No. Talky. Why is Dave calling Liam now? Why _now_?

"Georgia? Gee I just heard you I know you're there."

No, no I'm not!

"Georgia just-"

I didn't want to hear him say anything and I couldn't reply so I quickly scrambled to hit the hang up button but then the phone decided it wanted to be juggled and started to fly through the air and then...

**6 minutes later**

**Back in the car**

"You _dropped_ my phone in the _toilet_!" Liam yelled, hitting the steering wheel with the palm of his hands.

I nodded and shrank back into the seat.

"Why would you – how would you – _why_?" He exclaimed.

I gulped, "Well I got a phone call from-"

"No," Liam interrupted me, then threw his head back to look at the sky. Well, the roof of the car actually but you get the nub and gist. He looked up. "I mean _why_? Why are you doing this to me?"

Is he talking to me? Or maybe Big G? He's very dramatic.

"Sorry..." I whispered and Liam glanced sideways at me furiously.

"You don't do well with other people's things do you?" He said angrily and I just shook my head quickly, figuring agreeing with him was probably my best option at the moment.

He sighed and shook his own head in turn, "Whatever, let's just get back." He growled and started the engine up.

Oh lord it's going to a long drive home.

**3:00pm**

**Back in my bed of pain**

**Ahh, home sweet home**

Liam didn't say anything when he stopped at my house. So I just quickly grabbed my suitcase from the back seat, said thanks and goodbye and legged it up the path. _Mutti_ and Vati, being the respectable parents they are, were in the lounge with Uncle Eddie while he was teaching them sort of dance that I made sure _not_ to pay much attention to.

When I ran past though Mutti saw me and said, "Back so soon Gee? I thought you wouldn't be back till late tonight?"

And El Beardo, ever so funny, added, "Her mates must have thrown her out, finally seen sense."

Oh ha _ha_ Vati. That's a lovely way to speak to your eldest daughter. Bravo.

I continued up the stairs not saying a word.

At least I have some people who care about me properly. Well, when I say people I mean furry-beings of the crazy kind. Yupp, when I barged into my room Angus and Cross-Eyed Gordy were stretched out on my bed, covering a scarily large percentage of it for just 2 cats.

I like to think that they missed me so much that they were trying to soak up every last scent of Georgia from my covers. This is what I like to think.

**1 minute later**

But I know the Kitty Cats love me anyway because it's been over an hour since I got back and they've laid next to me on my bed of pain every since. They must sense my inner pain and have come to help heal me.

By walking along my body and randomly dropping for a rest every now and then.  
I'm even too tired to shake them off when they dig their claws in. I'm treating it as a free acupuncture session. It's meant to be very therapeutic you know. Maybe Angus and Gordy can help me get rid of my troubled thoughts and demons.

Maybe.

**30 seconds later**

Ow! Gordy just bit me!

I think he is getting a little carried away with being my therapist.

I tried to shoo him off my bed but he just stared up at me pathetically, his tongue stuck out and his head tilted to the side. And of course, his eye was staring directly at his nose. Bless his dodgey eye.

I wonder if it's really the eye that holds all the power. Like special, secret, amazing power. Gordy could be a genius in disguise... where his disguise is a stupid, silly cat that likes to chase his own tail.

I tried to tell him that game was only for dogs but he hasn't got it yet. But then again, I'm pretty sure he went through a stage of thinking he was a canine... maybe he's fallen off the wagon.

**10 minutes later**

Jas just called. She didn't even let me talk. She just said, "I'm coming round," then hung up the phone. She is getting ruder by the day, that one.

Didn't even say hi.

**3:30pm**

**Sat on my bed with Jassy**

The Kitty Cats have scrammed. They leaped up and out the room as soon as Jassy Spassy entered. I reckon they can smell the Owls on her. She is a traitor of the traitorous kind to them.

Jas plunked herself down on the bed and shoved a midget gem in her mouth. I wonder if she's planning on using them to bribe me? I hope so.

**5 seconds later**

"I think we need to talk," Jas said.

I stared at her, goosegog style.

"Georgia?"

"Yes?"

"We need to talk."

"Ok, what about?"

**1 second later**

Jas threw a midget gem at me. Crickey, this is serious – she's _wasting_ her midget gems voluntarily! On me! Awww. Now _that_ is love. But not the lezzie kind. _Never_ the lezzie kind.

"What is going on with you and Liam?"

Whoa. Talking about taking the horns by the bull... but what is she interested in Liam for?

I must have looked rather confuzzled because before I could answer Jas said, "Are you two... you know... kissing?" Ha! The way she said 'kissing' you'd think it was some sort of worldwide disease fandango that she'd never done. And we all know this isn't true since I know for a fact that she has regular snog seshes with Hunky on their rambles. Not that I care about their rambles. Or their snogging for that-

Wait a flying pigging second! Did she just ask if me and _Liam_ were buddies of the making out kind? Eww eww and thrice eww!

"What?" I practically shouted, "No! Why in the name of all things holy would you think that?"

Jas didn't even blink, she just cleared her throat like she was about to give a lecture and said, "Well you do talk to him quite a bit, he punched Dave in the face for you, he seemed genuinely concerned when you went missing last night and he drove you all the way home this morning."

_But he wasn't happy about it, miserable sod_, I thought, but didn't interrupt Mrs Voley – she wasn't even finished. Apparently.

"I'm not going to judge you if you like him Gee," Ha! What a lie," I can see the judgement in her eyes right now! It's located right next to her love for newts and badgers. "I mean, I don't think he's a particularly nice person but if you like him then I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me."

I looked at her in a looking way. I can't believe she thinks there is something going on between me and Liam. That is grim. No offense to him of course...

I mean, yes, he did punch Dave for me, but only because Dave cheated on me and it reminded him of Joe and Anna. But I remember Liam also telling me that I should give Dave another chance. Well he hinted at it anyway.

**20 seconds later**

"Jaaaaas," I said really slowly, "I'm only going to say this once so make sure you're paying attention ok?"

She nodded like an obedient nodding dog.

"You are a complete moron! Me and Liam are not _kissing_ I'm not even sure if we are friends! He is still hung up on his ex-girlfriend who was cheating on him for ages with his best mate. _That_ is why he punched Dave, not because he likes me, definitely not because of that. Ew, Jassy, ew."

She stared at me dumbstuck. Actually, the expression's not too far off her normal one... "Oh," she said.

I nodded at her wisely, "Oh exactly."

"So you still like Dave then?"

"I..." Hmmm do I still like Dave? Even after what he did? "No." I declared but Jas just biffed me over the head.

"Liar!"

I frowned, "No I'm not."

"Georgia, you've been in love with Dave for ages, do you really expect me to believe that you, the Queen of having the Red Bottom has gotten over Dave in a just a few hours?"

Good point. Well made.

Merde.

**30 seconds later**

"Well I want to get over him and I shall," I said in all maturiosity.

Jas looked doubtful.

"What?" I asked.

She just shook her head. "There is no way that you can get over Dave, you'd have to cut him out of your life and you've got more chance of him losing his memory again than that happening."

Now there's an idea! Well thank you old wise Owl, and here I was thinking that getting over Dave was going to require a lot of thought.

"That's it!" I said, "I'll just cut him out of my life. Simple Pimple."

"Georgia don't be ridiculous." Jas said. She sounds awfully like my Vati right now. It is not a good quality, I must say. "You can't just cut Dave from your life."

I looked at her very pointedly. "Just watch me."

**5 minutes later**

Oh I can't do it! Life is too long a time! And the seconds seem to drag on forevvvvvver.

Christ on Bike, Jas's right. I just spent the last four minutes and 50 seconds doing nothing _but_ think of Dave. Merde, merde and thrice merde!

"Screw that," I said, "There are other options."

Jas rolled her eyes as if to say 'typical'. "Like what?" She asked.

**1 minute later**

"We can be mates." I declared.

Jas frowned, "What, like matey mates?"

I nodded wisely but Jas just shook her head at me.

"Georgia, you've tried that before. And it never worked out."

"Yes but you see Jas," I explained, "That was because of all the accidental snogging."

"No Georgia, I do see. All the 'accidental' snogging is exactly my point. You can never just be 'friends' with Dave." She keeps putting her fingers up to indicate speech marks. It's vair, vair annoying. I may have to biff her.

"Yes I can," I argued, "I _can_ be mates with Dave without my red bottom appearing or without my lips puckering up or without the call of the Horn sounding."

She doesn't look convinced.

"I mean it."

"You're lying," was all she said.

"Am not!" I replied. "I can do it."

"Liar."

**Cough... REVIEW... cough... please... :D**

**Horns out ;D **

**ps. remember how much I love you all :)**


	7. Highway to Hell

**Again, sorry for the ridiculously long wait... but I have been on holiday for the past 3 weeks so you know...**

**and for those who are interested - which is probably none of you as you have most likely just skipped this little bit to read the story - I visited New Jersey in the USA and actually drove past BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S house!**

**This is the sort of thing that makes me scarily excited because this is the sort of crazy bean I am. :)**

**Horns out ;D**

**Chapter 6: Highway to Hell**

"_So you still like Dave then?"_

"_I..." Hmmm do I still like Dave? Even after what he did? "No." I declared but Jas just biffed me over the head._

"_Liar!"_

_I frowned, "No I'm not."_

"_Georgia, you've been in love with Dave for ages, do you really expect me to believe that you, the Queen of having the Red Bottom has gotten over Dave in a just a few hours?"_

_Good point. Well made._

_..._

"_We can be mates." I declared. _

_Jas frowned, "What, like matey mates?"_

_I nodded wisely but Jas just shook her head at me._

"_Georgia, you've tried that before. And it never worked out."_

"_Yes but you see Jas," I explained, "That was because of all the accidental snogging."_

"_No Georgia, I do see. All the 'accidental' snogging is exactly my point. You can never just be 'friends' with Dave." She keeps putting her fingers up to indicate speech marks. It's vair, vair annoying. I may have to biff her. _

"_Yes I can," I argued, "I can be mates with Dave without my red bottom appearing or without my lips puckering up or without the call of the Horn sounding."_

_She doesn't look convinced. _

"_I mean it."_

"_You're lying," was all she said._

"_Am not!" I replied. "I can do it."_

"_Liar."_

**Monday 23****rd**** January**

**Walking to Stalag 14**

This is it. This is the day the plan visa vie be-matey-mates-with-Dave is put into action. I can do it. We can be friends. Of course we can. This is the end of red bottoms and the Horn and the beginning of friendship! Yes. Fab.

**8.10am**

**Walking with Jassy**

"This is the day Jas," I told her proudly. "This is the day of the new Horn-free Georgia Nicolson who is going to be mates with a laugh."

She snorted. Well that's rude.

"I'm being serious Jas." I said.

She snorted again, "I don't believe you. You're always coming up with new silly resolutions like this. It never happens."

"Hey! I have given _this_ plan a lot of hard work and thought I'll have you know."

Jas biffed me on the arm, "You came up with it yesterday!"

Good point. Well merde.

**5 seconds later**

"It's _going_ to work you fool!" I yelled at her then took off running to Stalag. Ha! That'll show her.

**2 minutes later**

Holy bejesus! My sport days are most certainly behind me. I feel like a panting puff ball.

Correction – I _am_ a panting puff ball.

"Georgia Nicolson," I heard a horrible voice say. Hawkeye. Fab. "Please try to enter the school grounds with a bit more elegance." She pointed her nose up in the sky and looked remarkably like that scary old lady from the tv show 'the Worst Witch'.

Maybe she _is _the lady from the Worst Witch. That would explain a lot.

"Yes..." pant "...Miss..." Pant.

"And sort out your hair," She barked, "You're setting an awful example to our younger student."

Right, whereas _she_ is the perfect role model. I bet she's never even heard of concealer. And she could do with a touch up or so let me tell you that.

**5 minutes later**

**In the Tart's Wardrobe**

Oh hells bells, I look like I've stuck my finger in an electric socket!

Or worse, like Mutti did my hair. There's pieces flying everywhere. It did _not_ look like that this morning. And I only ran for a minute or so. Clearly that was my down fall.

That's it, I am never running again!

**In blodge**

I decided to skip the assembly since my hair was in need of serious work and I'm a girl who knows how to prioritise.

It's looking reasonably ok now. Well, it's not lacking on the volume front that's for sure.

The others have just come in now looking morbidly depressed. But let's face it, they have just had to listen to Slim's drawling for the past 20 minutes or so.

Their faces changed when they saw me though because I am clearly capable of bringing a smile to anyone's face.

Except they weren't smiling. No, they looked almost... angry. How strange.

**2 minutes later**

**Being eaten alive by angry eating-things**

I keep getting question after question, comment after comment of; "Why did you leave?" "Thanks for keeping us updated." "What happened on your drive home with Liam?" "Have you seen Dave?" "Did you forgive him?" "They're getting back together probably." "Are you getting back together?"

I don't know what they wanted me to say because they weren't exactly giving chance to talk. So I just stayed silent as a silent thing.

**30 seconds later**

"Well?" Rosie asked. Hands on hips and looking ready to biff my lights out if I didn't reply.

As much as I like my privacy, I really don't want to get on the wrong side of an angry Viking.

So I told them all (in detail) the ride home with Liam – including the awkward phone call fandango with Dave before I dropped Liam's mobile down the bog.

(Darn it I owe Liam a phone.)

Then I filled them in on my latest plan: "be-matey-mates-with-Dave."

Jas was choosing to ignorez-vous me during this part of the story. She is probably in a huff because I ran away from her this morning. Still, I think I suffered enough with my exploding-hair fiasco.

**5 seconds later**

"So... you and Dave are... like, going to be friends?" Ellen asked.

I nodded my head wisely, "Indeed we are mon pally."

"Really?" Jools checked.

I made sure to not blink when I looked at her. "Really."

"So when did you guys decide this?" Mabs asked.

"Me and Jas?" I said. "We-"

"No," Maybe interrupted, "You and Dave."

"Me and Dave?"

"Yes, you and Dave. When did you and Dave decided to be "mates"?"

"They didn't" Jas said, looking rather smug, "She hasn't even spoken to him."

Urgh how annoying Voley is being right now.

Everyone turned to look at me sceptically. "Dave doesn't know you want to be mates?"

I shook my head, "Not yet, but I shall inform –"

"What if he doesn't want to be eh?" Rosie asked.

What a stupid question.

"What a stupid question," I said and dodged out the way of Rosie's biff. "Of course he will want to be mates with me."

Shifty eyes. They don't think he'll want to be my mate!

"You don't think he'll want to be my mate!" I accused.

Mabs gulped. "Well..." She trailed off.

"I am an _excellent_ mate!" I practically shouted.

More shifty eyes.

**1 minute later**

That is it. I have officially left the Ace Gang. No, I have not left – I have kicked all the others out. The Ace Gang is now just me on my lonesome. And let's face it, I was always the best member anyway.

**4.00pm**

**Chez moi**

Angus and Gordy are lying beside me on my bed of pain. I think they know that I am now all aloney on my owny when it comes to the Ace Gang so are trying to suck up to me so that I will let them in. Oh yes, I know their game!

Still, I may just let them join. I can train them to bring me snacks and whatnot. Proper snacks. Not pathetic excuse-for-snacks like Jas's midget jems.

**2 minutes later**

I managed to ignorez-vousez the ex-Ace Gang for most of today. After Blodge I basically ran away (though didn't _actually_ run as I had already learnt my lesson with that visa vie the hair explosion this morning). But yeah, I escaped them and their betraying selves best I could. Lessons were extremely dull because I actually had to pretend to pay attention. I can't imagine people listening to Miss Wilson everyday. 10 minutes and I was ready to jump out the window.

And lunch was a particularly stressful time because since I was no longer talking to the (Ex) Ace Gang I had to option but to sit with P. Green. And we all know how entertaining her and her mice are...

Yawwwwwwn.

I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the day. I must be some sort of superwoman.

No sign on Mutti and Vati yet. They are probably out not-working and haven't thought to check in at home to see if their eldest daughter has any food.

Which, I don't by the way. Unless you count a tin of old sweetcorn as food. And I don't.

**10 minutes later**

I wonder whether I should ring Dave? I could explain the matey-mate situation, he will agree and then we will be the best of chums. And he can join the Ace Gang since it is severely lacking in people members are the moment.

But should I really tell him over the phone? Is that what a matey-mate would do? It does seem very friendly and whatnot but still...

I suppose I could ring him and ask him to come round or meet me somewhere. But if we're face to face that just increases the risk of a red-bottom type fandango which is exactly what I do not want.

**1 minute later**

What am I saying? I have freed myself of my red-bottom and Hornish antics. I don't need to be worried – I am in vair vair good control of myself. Yes, yes I am!

**2 minutes later**

Ringing Dave. My kness have gone all jelloid. Oh no.

"Hello?"

I slammed the phone down quicker than a quick thing. Why in the name of King Kong's jumping beans did I do that?

**5 seconds later**

Breathe. Just. Breathe.

**10 seconds later**

Holy crap the phone is ringing. I repeat: THE PHONE IS RINGING!

Should I answer it? What if it's Dave? I can't answer it.

**2 seconds later**

"Hello?"

"Georgia?" Ohhh in the name of an anti-climax thank you Big G it's only Vati.

"Vati!" I exclaimed happily and heard him grunt on the other side.

"Bloody hell Georgia you trying to deafen me girl?"

"Oh come now Vati, don't be too happy to hear from me. Although it was you that called you know. Who did you expect to answer? Gordy? I know he is getting older and wiser these days but he's not quite the super cat that Angus is yet."

"Alright alright just... is your mother back yet?"

"No."

"Well tell her to be back soon."

"And how do you expect me to do that Vati dear?"

Grumble grumble.

"See you later."

"Bye Vati!" I said cheerily, "Don't let your badger trip you up on your way home!"

I wonder where Mutti is? Probably trying to force Libby away from Josh somehow. I swear, she may be the youngest person ever to receive a restraining order. But I wouldn't put it past her.

**5.30pm**

All snugly snug in my bed with my jim jams on and pop tarts for eating. See, who needs the Ex-Ace Gang members when you've got this?

Me, that's who.

**1 minute later**

It is quite boring though. I suppose I could get started on some homework but I don't think I'm up to it yet. Maybe in a few years. Or decades.

**5.45pm**

Door just went and I can hear Mutti scuttling into the house. I climbed out of bed and opened my door.

"Just come right in," I heard Mutti say then Libby shouted: "Mine! Come with me. He's miiiiiiine!"

Oh fab, they've actually kidnapped Josh. What is his Mutti going to think? She'll probably press charges and my Mutti and Vati will get taken away and I'll have to go and live in an orphanage.

Actually, that doesn't sound so bad...

**30 seconds later**

"Mutti", I said as I walked down the stairs, "When you and vati go to prison can I have your prada handbag? I doubt you will have much use for it in your-"

I stopped talking. Because I'd entered the lounge. And Josh wasn't being held captive by Libby and Mutti. Oh no.

Dave was.

"Georgia dear, Dave here was just outside," Mutti said but I didn't really hear her. I was too busy staring at Dave like a goosegog. He was dressed in a vair groovy way with his hair spiked up a bit. And I was in my jim jams and severely lacking in the makeup department.

"Would you like something to eat?" Mutti asked Dave.

"No thankyou," he replied which was a tad disappointing as it would have been rather amusing for Mutti to offer up an old tin of sweetcorn – which is the only food left here.

All four of us were in the room then just glancing at each other.

Well, Libby was actually just playing with Dave's hair but he was too busy looking from Mutti to me to notice.

**10 seconds later**

"Well," Mutti began after what seemed like hours, "Why don't we give you some privacy? Come on Libby dear."

Libby just growled. A startlingly good impression of Gordy and Angus combined. "No. Davey boy miiiine."

Mutti laughed that fake laugh of hers. It kind of sounds like a penguin being strangled. "Oh Libs, come along."

Libby clung to Dave as Mutti tried to pull her away. I saw my opportunity and said quickly, "Be right back," before scampering off up the stairs and into my room.

If there is a time for emergency makeup this is it. I changed into some jeans and a t-shirt then proceeded to throw stuff on my face.

Well, not actually _throw_ but you get the nub and gist.

**12 minutes later**

A knock at the door. I swivelled at the mirror and quickly shoved my blusher brush back into the draw.

Mutti doesn't knock. Libby doesn't know what knocking is. Which leaves only one person.

"Georgia?" Dave asked. Oh Christ on Bike.

"Erm... come in," I said, trying my best to keep my voice steady but I'm pretty sure I just gave a vair good impression of a scared squirrel. If squirrels could talk that is.

The door slid open and Dave slowly walked in looking rather serious. Which is never good for a laugh as I'm sure you know by there.

"I was going to ring but I think you did earlier and I figured you wouldn't pick up so..." He trailed off awkwardly.

I wanted more than anything for one of us to make a joke or something. Why was it so awkward? I had to conquer the awkwardness head on!

**20 seconds later**

"I think we should be mates!" I blurted out quickly. Why? I'm not exactly sure.

Dave frowned, "What?... what do you mean?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "I mean... we should be mates. Friends. Pals. Buddys."

"But... I thought..." Dave stuttered, "I mean... friends? You want to be friends?"

"Yes." I'm not speaking elvish am I? That would be cool.

Dave ran a hand through his hair, "Look... I don't think... I don't think I can do that."

I frowned, "Why not?"

"It's just... after everything that's happened I don't think i can deal with that."

What? _He's_ the one that cheated! _I_ should be the one to say that!

"But... I thought you'd want to be," I said quietly.

Dave took a step forward then seemed to change his mind and step quickly back. He held my gaze. "I want to _be _with you Georgia."

I blinked hard, trying not to blub. I can feel the tears coming though. "But I can't... I can't..."

"You can't forgive me," Dave said softly, "I know."

I looked away, "But why can't we be friends?" I asked.

Dave glanced down then up again, "I don't think you understand how hard you'll be to get over Georgia Nicolson." He said, a small, sad smile appearing on his face. "There's no chance in hell I'll be able to do it if we're together all the time."

So he'd rather just forget me all together? I thought, but didn't say anything.

Dave opened my door. "I'm sorry." He said, holding my gaze, "for everything."

I couldn't say anything. I just stood frozen like a lemon watching Dave leave my room and apparently my life.

**Tuesday 24****th**** January**

**Sat in R.E**

**All aloney on my owny**

I feel like a bit of a zombie. I don't even remember getting ready for Stalag this morning. But I'm here. And my hair isn't looking explodey or anything.

Not that I care. I have no Ace Gang and no laughs who want to be my mates. I have no one. So really, now is the perfect time to join a nunnery. Do they accept friendless teenagers?

Can I take Angus and Gordy with me?

**2 minutes later**

Jas and Rosie and co are sat next to me. But I have my book up in between us as a symbol of a no-friend situation.

They keep trying to talk to me as well which is rather annoying.

Well, actually it gives me a great opportunity to demonstrate my ignorez-vousing-ness but you get the nub and gist.

Jas slid a note across the desk before. I pretended not to care and flicked it off the desk in an uninterested fashion. But really I flicked it off the desk in a land-in-my-bag fashion. Then when Jassy went to the loo I snuck a look. It said:

_Gee we are really sorry about what we said or didn't say. _

_We totally think you and Dave will be great mates._

_Love us all. X_

_Ps. I have midget gems when you're ready._

I felt like screwing it up and throwing it at Miss Wilson and her stupid bob but instead I just dropped it back in my bag.

**10 minutes later**

**Nearly the end of class**

The Ex-Ace Gang keep throwing glances my way. Probably wondering whether I've read the silly note. Clearly Dave hasn't told Tom what we said last night as he would have told Jas and she would have told the rest of the Ex-Ace Gang and they wouldn't have sent me the note.

Or they are just really really cruel.

**1 minute later**

"Gee?" Jas said. I turned the other way.

"Yo Gee?" Rosie tried. I refused to look around.

"Please Georgia just talk to us." Jas pleaded. "We're sorry."

I planted my eyes down onto the text book. Did you know there's actually writing in there as well as pictures?

"We didn't mean it," Jas continued, "I think Dave would love to be friends with you." She said.

"No you don't," I found myself whispering.

"Yes I do," Jas replied.

I gulped, "Well you're wrong."

"Sorry?" Jas said, and I saw the others perk up suddenly as well.

I turned to Jas, to all of them, "Dave doesn't want to by my friend. He doesn't want anything to do with me if we're not together and we can't be together because I can't forgive him ok?" I finished just as the bell went.

Quickly I grabbed my bag and headed out the classroom leaving five goosegogs behind me.

**12.05pm**

**Walking through the park**

I don't know when I decided to become a rebel as such and take to running from the law but after my little story-telling session in R.E I was apparently done with Stalag for the day.

So here I am ambling through the park like the rebel child I am. It's vair vair nippy noodles as well – I wish I had my knicker toaster with me. Maybe that can be my 'bad deed' for tomorrow – I'll steal the radiator. Sorry Big G, I'm serving the devil right now.

That's who has the cookies right?

**1 minute later**

"You owe me a phone."

I spun round faster than a fast thing on fast tablets to see Liam looking at me. He is like... _everywhere_.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" I said.

He scoffed, "Shouldn't _you_ be at school?"

I held my head up high, "I'm done with school. It's very last year. I have better ways to spend my time."

Liam raised his eyebrows, "Like walking around a deserted park on your own?"

I scowled, "It's not deserted if there are two of us here. Anyway why are _you_ here?"

"I'm not still at high school you know. There's this thing called _Sixth Form_ and we get these things called _free periods_." He said like I was too stupid to understand.

"I know what a free is," I argued, "I just didn't know you went to Sixth Form that's all."

"Ahh," Liam replied, "You thought I was too thick."

"No! I just... I... didn't know, that's all."

He shrugged, "Whatever, I have places to be."

"Right... of course," Even _Liam_ who is basically socially retarded, has friends when I don't.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Liam said suddenly and for a horrible moment I thought he was talking about me and Dave and our lack of friend-ness.

But then having no doubtedly seen my horrified face, he continued with, "About my phone?"

"Oh..." I said, "that... well, see, let me talk to my Vati. I'm-"

Liam held up his hands to stop me, "Whatever, see you around,"

I looked at him warily, "Ok..."

He nodded before taking off through the park.

**5 seconds later**

"Oh and Georgia?" Liam called from a few metres away. "I'm sure Dave'll come around."

My mouth fell open, "How did you...?" I stuttered.

Liam just gave a small smirk, "I have my ways."

Clearly.

**6.55pm**

**In the loony residence**

I tried not to think about what Liam had said for the rest of the day but as it turns out, I didn't have much else to occupy my head.

How did Liam know about the Dave and me situation? It only happened yesterday! That boy is freaky bananas!

And what did he mean, "Dave'll come around?" Around as in he will change his mind and want to be friends with me? What makes him so sure? Has he spoken to Dave? I didn't think they were friends anymore. Maybe I was wrong.

No, that can't be right. I'm never wrong. I mean, this one time I thought I was, but I was mistaken.

**10 seconds later**

Hahahahahahaha! See what I did there? See?

**2 minutes later**

I really need some friends.

**7.00pm**

Mutti just yelled, "Georgia, tea time!"

I replied, "I am too depressed to eat. My life is in shambles I can no longer think about food! I have been forced to give it up."

Then I heard Vati grunt, "I wish she'd give up talking." Which I thought was rather rude but I couldn't be bothered saying so.

"Georgia it's getting cold!" Mutti shouted.

I sighed and rolled over on my bed only to squish Angus's tail – when did he get there? – who then proceeded to try and scratch my arms and legs and anywhere else he could get to off.

I sprung off the bed and said in a stern voice, "Angus. No."

But he just ignored me and actually jumped off the bed through the air to try and get me again! Luckily I managed to sidestep out the way so he went flying into the wardrobe instead (that I proceeded to lock him in) but crikey can that cat jump! He was practically flying!

**5 minutes later**

Angus is howling from the wardrobe but if he thinks I'll let him out he is sadly mistaken. I like my arms without scratch marks on thank you.

"Georgia!" Mutti suddenly called from downstairs.

"I said I'm NOT HUNGRY!" I screamed down angrily.

"I know!" Mutti replied in that silly know-it-all tone of hers that is rather out of place since she knows _nothing_. "but there's someone here to see you."

That made me listen. I said "Who?" but there was already a knock at the door.

Crikey! What if it's Dave? My makeup is at a minimum! But at least I'm not wearing my jimjams!

"Georgia?" A voice said from behind the door. "Can I come in?"

Oh lord. It's Jas.

I rolled my eyes and slumped down on the bed. "Sure."

**10 minutes later**

Jas has just finished telling me how sorry the Ace Gang is and how they are here for me in this 'hard time'. As you can imagine it made me feel very un-pathetic. Not.

But Jas kept droning on and on so the only way to shut her up was to say I forgive her. Which, by the way, I'm sure breaks the code of the devil himself so I shall have to do something extra rebellious soon to counter my kind ways.

Jas has finished her apology speech and is now onto 'reassuring' which I'm pretty sure is a hell of a lot more annoying. If there weren't midget gems in my mouth right now I would tell her to shut her Old Wise Woman of the Forest Speech.

But alas, I can't.

"It's just, well, pretty obvious why it's hard for Dave to be your friend after everything that's happened with you two."

"Mttt hee swteed!" I said mid-chewing.

Jas frowned, "What?"

I swallowed, "But he's the one that cheated! If it's hard for anyone it should be hard for me and I've manned up, so should he!"

"Erm..." Ooo Jassy stuck for words! "But... he loves you." Maybe not.

Ok, stop me if I'm wrong, but I'm fairly sure that makes no sense.

"Dave doesn't love me." I told her.

Jas rolled her eyes. "Of course he does. That's why he can't be friends with you."

"Surely if he loves me he would want to be my friend."

Jas wiggled her finger. "Not necessarily. It would just be too painful for him."

I frowned, "Well that's stupid."

"Not really."

"Yes it is."

"No, I don't th-"

"Jas!" I snapped ,"Just agree with me. I am a devil-worshipper convert, you don't want me on your bad side." I said in my scariest voice.

Jas just raised her eyebrows.

**10.10pm**

110 speeches and a zillion midget gems later and Jas has finally left. She made me promise to talk to the Ace Gang again and sit with them at lunch. I drawed it out a bit (and made her beg) but to be honest, if I had to suffer another conversation with nauseating P. Green again I may have hung myself right then.

I was beginning to think Jas would never leave but then she decided she wanted to retrieve a jacket I borrowed from my wardrobe.

So naturally, I let her.

**1 minute later**

To be fair, it could have been much, much worse.

I think Angus's spell in the wardrobe actually calmed him down a bit. It took him at least 0.5 seconds to launch himself at an unsuspecting Jas and startle her to death.

And he only gave her a few odd scratches here and there before clambering off and strolling out the door lazily.

Pretty mild I'd say. Hilarious to watch of course, but still, pretty mild.

I was laughing like a loon on loon tablets I was.

Jas strangely, was not.

**Thursday 26****th**** January**

I didn't skip Stalag yesterday or today. I figured the best kind of devil-followers are those that are sneaky. So I didn't want to draw attention to myself by missing loads of lessons at once.

Also, I promised Jas I would see the Ace Gang and Rosie's Viking Wrath is far scarier than anything the devil can throw at me.

But when the bell went today I saw all the Barmy Army (minus Dave of course) waiting outside for the Ace Gang (minus me) so I quickly ran away.

Hence I am now walking home on my tod.

Well, not really, as the devil is walking with me. That's what happens, you see. I shall never be alone again. Mwhaaa!

**2 minutes later**

Oh my giddy god! You will never guess who is stood outside my house!

Well, actually, you probably can – it's fairly easy. I'll give you a clue. It starts in D and end in AVE.

**30 seconds later**

I walked up to Dave in a vair glaciosity-at-all-times manner. He looked up when he saw me.

"So," he began, "I was thinking..." then he smiled this amazingly groovy fabby gorgeous smile... that I totally want on a matey-mate and nothing more of course.

**2 seconds later**

Blimey the Devil works his magic fast! He's better than Big G and Buddha combined! Bring on the highway to hell!

*_Pause for ACDC-tribute dancing_*

**Like aways, I please ask you spare a few seconds to write me a review if you will... :)**

**Horns out ;D**

**x**


	8. The Word is PANTS

**Hello. Bonjour. Hi. Salut. Howdyyyyy! **

**I know, I know, me again after _such_ a long time. I have to say, I wasn't going to carry on this story but recently a few more reviews have been coming through and you guys inspired me to keep writing! **

**I know it's very likely that most of my old readers have given up hope on me and I guess I can't blame you for that because I haven't updated in a vair vair long time. However, I planning to update every week now so if you find yourself reading this now... watch this space in the future ;D**

**Enjoy :) **

**Chapter 7: The Word is PANTS**

_Quick recap:_

_Georgia found Dave cheating on her when she went to surprise him at Oasis_

_Liam looked after Gee and took her home_

_After talking to Jas, Georgia realises she can't cut Dave completely out of her life so decides they should be mates_

_At first Dave rejects this idea as he still wants to be with her, but then he turns up outside her house with a change of mind. _

**Monday 30****th**** January**

Morning world! Morning sky! Morning life!

I know, I know, I'm being rather cheery aren't I? But I'm feeling rather cheery you see. Ever since I turned to the cookie side (cookies=dark=devil) I have been extra happy because I don't have to be positive or upbeat all the time. I can be as negative and crappy as I want.

Which is making me very happy! How strange. But the devil does work his ways mysteriously!

**2 minutes later**

Today is officially the fourth day of me and Dave being matey-mates. Because, as I have explained to the Ace Gang many times over the course of this weekend, I haven't actually been friends with him before.

I mean, first I went out with him but he was only a red-herring, then we were accidental snogging partners... actually we were accidental snogging partners for quite a while... then he was my Horn Meister, then we made out, then he was going to dump Emma, then the whole car crash fiasco happened so we "didn't know each other" then we went out, then he remembered that we'd already gone out, then we went out for real, then we broke up and now we are going to be mates.

Phewwwww. BREATHE.

Mais Oui, to the future and to fab mates. And we shall do mate-like things.

**5 seconds later**

What exactly do mates do?

**1 minute later**

I could offer to do his hair before we go out. Or his makeup.

And he can give me midget gems. Oh yes.

**5 minutes later**

Our friendship is going smoothy smooth at the moment, if I say so myself and I do. Although we haven't actually seen each other since Friday and even then that was only a five minute conversation.

We're going out tonight though. Well no, not _out_ out. That would be something couples do. And we are not a couple. Or accidental snogging partners. We are mates. And what do mates do? They get coffee.

Or at least according to the Ace Gang.

So tonight, at 4.30pm me and Dave have a rendezvous in town for coffee. It's a mate date! Just no dating actually involved and full-on matey business – not _that_ sort of business you rude people.

**3:35pm**

**In ma chambre. **

What should one wear to go get coffee with a friend? I probably shouldn't spend that long deciding as that would indicate that I care and one shouldn't really care what they look like in front of their mates.

**1 minute later**

Unless their mate is a gorgey lad.

**30 seconds later**

Not that mine is. I was just saying.

**4.20pm**

**Walking into town**

I went for the sport casual look. You know, jogging bottoms that I've never actually jogged in but make my arse look really good and give off the impression that I _do_ exercise.

Unless Dave thinks that I've been doing exercise _now_ and that I'm horrible and sweaty! Which I'm not! I even set off with plenty of time to I don't even have to break into a brisk walk. It's all gentle rambling for moi.

**4.28pm**

Outside the coffee place. Oh holy moly I set off _too_ early! Now I'm here and waiting outside like a lemon. An eager lemon. I shouldn't be eager to see Dave. He's just a mate. I must not give off this impression.

**10 seconds later**

I began walking away, planning to hide out round the corner where I could watch for when Dave arrives, then stroll in a bit after him in a dignified and casual (the casual part is essential) manner.

**2 seconds later**

And it so would have worked.

If I hadn't bumped into Dave on my way around.

**1 second later**

"Georgia," he said after we both stepped back like our PANTS were on fire. Great, now I really want to yell PANTS. Can I yell PANTS? That's the sort of thing mates do right? Yell PANTS at each other?

"Where are you going?" Dave asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I stared at him like a goosegog. Wasn't I coming to meet him? I'm pretty sure we arranged it...

"It's the other way," he told me and it took me a vair long time to realise he meant where we were meant to be meeting. Oh crikey he must think I'm as slow as too slow things... or worse, as slow as Ellen.

"I know," I said quickly, trying to save face, "I just... really wanted an apple." An apple? REALLY? That's the best my brain can come up with in a moment of panic? Hells bells.

"An apple?" Dave checked, mightily confused. Probably because I'm not really known for my fruit-cravings. Now chocolate – that's understandable.

I nodded anyway. Too late now.

"Ok then," Dave said and then took a step to the side as if letting me through. What's he doing?

**30 seconds later**

No one has moved. Why has no one moved? Or said anything for that matter... crikey this is weird.

Dave cleared his throat and said, "Well shall we go then?"

I nodded and we both set off. In different directions.

I spun round to see Dave staring at me in that same confused manner again. I was pretty confused myself. I was heading back towards the coffee place – he was walking in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" We both said at the same time. Scary potatoes.

"Erm... I thought we were going to get a coffee?" I said, meaning hot chocolate of course.

Dave raised his eyebrows slightly, "_I _thought you desperately needed an apple?"

Oh right. Yes. Of course. "Erm... yes, yes I do." I said, marching back up to him in a purposeful sort of way. "Let's go."

Phew, that was a close save.

**4.34pm**

**Inside the Jenning's fruit and veg shop**

There's too much healthy food in here. I think I'm suffocating. I. Need. Sugar.

We walked to the shop in silence. It was _sooooo_ awkward. And I don't know why. I mean, obviously there's the whole we-just-went-out thing. Or rather, we-just-broke-up thing. But still, we should still be able to have a laugh though right? RIGHT?

"Georgia. Dave. Hey!" Someone said. I spun around, nearly knocking a dozen oranges off the shelf as I did to see Robbie standing there, looking as cheery as ever.

"Hi," me and Dave said at the same time. What is it with that? Are we in some talking-syncing thing or something?

Robbie looked at each of us in turn, breaking into a smile, "What can I help you with?"

"Apples," Me and Dave said again. Seriously, it's freaky bananas. Well freaky apples actually..

Robbie laughed and picked up a pack of four from the shelf behind him before handing them to me. "This enough?" he checked.

I stared at the apples like the goosegog of all goosegogs and nodded silently. What the bleating sheep am I meant to do with four apples?

**15 minutes later**

Finally made it to the coffee shop. I bought the apples but they are too big to carry in my bag so they are now sitting on the table in front of me and Dave. He did offer to carry them on the way out of the Jenning's shops but I thought that was a tad too much like boyfriend behaviour for my liking. Mates don't carry their mates' apples.

Do they?

**2 minutes later**

We ordered our drinks and have so far only said a few words to each other. It's crazy. Why can't we just talk and laugh like we used to?

Well, actually I know the answer to that. It's because when we used to talk and laugh we also used to snog. And snogging is forbidden. It's against the rules. No puckering. No snogging. Simple.

But there must be _something_ we could talk about. I just need to find out what it is. Unless Dave comes up with it, that would save me a lot of time and effort.

**30 seconds later**

Our drinks have come. We both said thank you to the waitress then proceeded to drink straight away. And then we both ended up burning our tongues because the drinks were still vair vair hot.

It was actually rather amusing though. We both sort of had a spaz attack and jumped up like jumping things before trying to fan our mouths with our hands.

Then we sort of caught each other's eye and I saw how funny and hilarious and foolish Dave looked (obviously I was just coolness-personified) and we both burst out laughing. I mean full on, nose-flaring, loud-honking, arms-flying laughing. It was groovy.

Then when we finally settled down... slightly, Dave grinned at me and said, "You look like a complete twit."

And I didn't even have time to swoon over his gorgeous smile or go all jelloid because I was too interested in giving him an insult back and continuing laughing at him some more.

"And youuuuu," I said, pointing at him, "Look like after her knickers exploded in P.E."

Dave's eyes widened, "Her knickers exploded?"

I shrugged, "Well we think so. She was jumping up and down and pulling at her skirt like something had happened there."

"Nice."

"I know."

**10 minutes later**

The banter continued after that. And it was good, solid, matey-matey kind of banter. Just what we needed.

In fact by the time we actually paused for more than a second our drinks were cool enough to drink. Perfect timing.

I took a sip of my hot chocolate before realising how thirsty I was and taking a big gulp. Luckily the whipped cream had melted by this point or I would have been showing off a not-so-groovy white ferret on my face.

I noticed Dave was staring at me as I put my cup down. "What?" I barked.

He just shook his head slightly, smiling that cheeky grin of his, "Nothing. This is nice. I mean, it was more awkward than a badger in a sink at first. Or a giraffe in a cupboard. Or a Sven in... well, anywhere. Or-"

"I get it," I said, trying hard not to laugh like a loon. He really does have a good point. Especially the Sven thing.

"Anyway," Dave continued, "That can't happen again."

I frowned at him, "What do you mean?" Does he mean us hanging out? Why can't that happen again? We won't be able to be mates otherwise? I thought he wanted to be mates?

"The awkwardness," Dave answered.

I frowned even more. "The awkwardness," I repeated.

He nodded like a nodding nod, "Yes. It needs to stop. End. Finito. Bye bye. Au revoir."

"Ok..." I said vair slowly, "But... _how_?"

Then he looked at me like he had an ingenious idea and tapped the side of his nose with his finger like only really smart people do. Or people who _think_ they're really smart and all old and wise etc. Kind of like Jassy...

"I have a plan," Dave said, his eyes lighting up. He looks rather scary potatoes actually. Is that how I look when I come up with an ingenious idea? I hope not. It would do nothing for my gigantibus nose-flaring issues.

"What is it?" I asked.

Dave leaned forward and waved his arms to usher me in. I moved closer also. Top secret this stuff. Apparently.

"Ok," Dave began in a whisper and I leant forward even more to hear what he was going to say, "The plan is... we're not going to let it be awkward."

**5 seconds later**

I waited. I waited for the next part of the plan. Unfortunately, I think this was all Dave had. Fab.

"Seriously?" I said, sitting upright again and actually talking in a normal volume. "_That's_ your plan? _Really_?"

"Hold your horses you eager filly," Dave said, "Hear me out. Every time the situation becomes awkward, all we have to do is acknowledge it. Then all the awkwardness will end."

I frowned. This doesn't sound fool-proof like all of my plans. "We should acknowledge it?" I confirmed.

Dave nodded solidly. "Exactly. Like say if things got awkward now, I would just say it out loud and that would be the end of that."

"And it's that easy?" I said. Dave nodded again. "But... what if we're around everyone else? And we suddenly just start talking about how things are awkward. _That_ sounds vair vair awkward if you ask me."

Dave thought for a moment then his eyes lit up again and he pointed at me. "Got it!" He practically shouted, making a little old lady jump to the side of us. Bless her, she could have leaped out her knickers. "We can have a code word!" Dave said happily. "Whenever _we_ feel things are awkward between us we just shout the word. That way we know but no one else will. Capeessshhh!"

**2 seconds later**

Hmmm. I'm not totally sure this plan is going to work. But I sort of like me and Dave having something we can share between us. That's just ours. And kind of secret. It's special.

But just in a matey-mate way of course. Nothing else.

**5 seconds later**

"Ok, I'm in," I told Dave. "What's the word going to be?"

He grinned at me crazily (think Angus) and said, "The word is PANTS!"

Of course. Why didn't I think of that? The word is _always_ PANTS!

**I know it was a short one, but it really sets the tone for the rest of this fanfiction. **

**Hope you liked it, let me hear your thoughts on where you think it'll go :D**

**HORNS OUT! ;) **

**x**


	9. Burn Your Fringe Off

**Here I be again guys... I know... HEY :D**

**thank you so much to all the people who keep reviewing even though I am annoyingly absent most of the time. **

**SPECIAL APPRECIATION FOR: **

**xxshadowxxx, MrsJasperHale23, ..Bro , Chaela-laughluuurver, E arth. K id. T ree. H ugger, hilaryemma45, Mommy2Johnasaurus, Emma, seeleyboothdavethelaugh, iLoveDavex3, iLoveShexiiLia, Jenny, OblivionsGarden**

**THANK YOU FOR LEAVING COMMENTS, love hearing from you 3**

**Chapter 8: Burn Your Fringe Off**

_I noticed Dave was staring at me as I put my cup down. "What?" I barked. _

_He just shook his head slightly, smiling that cheeky grin of his, "Nothing. This is nice. I mean, it was more awkward than a badger in a sink at first. Or a giraffe in a cupboard. Or a Sven in... well, anywhere. Or-"_

"_I get it," I said, trying hard not to laugh like a loon. He really does have a good point. Especially the Sven thing. _

"_Anyway," Dave continued, "That can't happen again."_

"_Ok," Dave began in a whisper and I leant forward even more to hear what he was going to say, "The plan is... we're not going to let it be awkward."_

"_...Every time the situation becomes awkward, all we have to do is acknowledge it. Then all the awkwardness will end. We can have a code word!" Dave said happily. "Whenever we feel things are awkward between us we just shout the word. That way we know but no one else will. Capeessshhh!" _

_..."Ok, I'm in," I told Dave. "What's the word going to be?"_

_He grinned at me crazily (think Angus) and said, "The word is PANTS!"_

_Of course. Why didn't I think of that? The word is always PANTS!_

**Thursday 2****nd**** February**

**5.15pm**

**In my boudoirrrr**

It's quite simple really. Me and Dave can hang out with each other as much as we want and be as happy as Larry (though I've never met Larry himself, _that_ would be an honour) without there being a smidge of awkwardness.

Well, I guess there is _some_, but that's the point – there's only some. We eliminate it before it gets a chance for the entire situation to be very awkward.

Plus, this is a ridiculously big opportunity for some hilariousity action. Because basically me and Dave are just going to shout "PANTS" as soon as one of us feels things are getting a tad too awkward. And that's just going to be hilariosity personified. Yes.

**2 minutes later**

And I have decided to become a Saint of sorts. Even though I am still worshipping the devil. (He has served me well). But I am going to buy Liam a new phoney phone. Because I thought, eh, why not?

**1 second later**

And I did drop his last one down the toilet.

**3 seconds later**

I don't think it was worth recovering.

**6.00pm**

Jas rang. Naturally she wanted to know_ everything_ because she's so nosy. A nosy owl of the forest. Tut tut.

But I can't tell her _everything_ because me and Dave have decided to keep the PANTS thing a secret. Otherwise it's de-awkwardness affecting-ness would be diminished. And we don't want that.

Plus, I kind of like that me and Dave have a special thing.

**1 second later**

Not special, SECRET. There is nothing _special _about it because we are matey mates. And mates can have secrets. It's what makes them good mates. And me and Dave are going to be awesome mates. Yes we are.

**2 minutes later**

"There's something you're not telling me," Jas said on the phone being the annoying twit she is. And I don't even get midget gems for listening to her be her annoying and twitty-self. Urgh.

"No Jas," I said with a sigh, "There is nothing I'm not telling you. Nothing is what it is. So nothing is what I shall tell."

"That made no sense."

"Yeah well neither does your obsession with Owls but I don't tell you."

Pause.

"Err... yes you do, all the time."

"What's your point Jassy?"

I heard her make a stupid grunting sound into the phone that I know she uses when she wants me to know she's upset with me but really it just sounds like she desperately needs the loo.

"Why won't you tell me what happened with you and Dave? Did you snog him? You snogged him didn't you?" she accused.

"Jas, I told you that there is no hint of my red bottom arising now that me and Dave and good matey mates and that is what I stand by."

"So... did you snog him or not?"

"No!" I shouted down the phone, "And now you have angered me. Goodbye Jas before my devil-worshipping-self comes out to breathe flames down the phone and burn your fringe off."

**Friday 3****rd**** February**

**3.30pm**

**Leaving Stalag**

Seriously, why does anyone bother with school? It's such a stupid waste of time. Today I learnt that without the sun plants wouldn't grow. Hells bells seriously? Do they think we're two years old? Even Libby knows that and she _eats_ plants on a regular basis.

Walking with the Ace Gang at the mo and about to meet up with the Barmy Army. Jas and the like are acting all twitchy because they don't know what me and Dave will act like when we see each other. Clearly they don't believe that me and Dave are matey mates like I told Jassy last night. In fact I _know_ they don't because today (when I wasn't learning about the wonderful life-giving thing that is the big orange thing in the sky) I was telling them over and _over _about the matey-mate arrangement I have with Dave.

But none of them know about the PANTS bit still. Obviously. I'm rather excited to use it actually. Tres amusant!

**5 minutes later**

Holy smokes Dave and Rollo just jumped out from round the corner screaming "RUNNNNN!" at us which made 5 and a half of us take to sprinting the other way. The half is Ellen's leg. She saw Dec and so somehow half her body became rooted to the spot.

Naturally the lads fell about laughing as they all appeared in front of us. Rosie (after gathering her wits) marched up to Sven and full on slapped him across the cheek. That shut everyone up and we all stared goose-goggly at them waiting for something to happen.

Only then Rosie just shrugged and jumped on Sven so the two of them could make out. What else?

Then the pairing up began. Hunky and Po instantly went to discussing something ridiculously dull. She's probably telling him about the sun and plant thing we 'learnt' today. Even though she is a supposed wild woman of the forest Jassy is vair vair dim sometimes. This revelation is probably making her shake in her gigantibus knickers.

**1 minute later**

It ended up being me, Dave, Mabs and Ed on the corner as the other "couples" had took off walking next to each other. Or in Sven and Rosie's case, shunting along as they continued to stick their tongues down each other's throats. Er-lack.

Mabs was doing shifty eyes between Ed, Dave and me. Probably wondering if it was ok to leave me and Dave alone. Which it obviously was because we are matey mates. But Mabs didn't believe it. Even if she really wanted to make out with Ed. I could tell.

**30 seconds later**

Ok this is ridiculous. No one is speaking and Mabs is still doing the glancing thing.

It's starting to get rather-

**1 second later**

"PANTS!" Dave suddenly shouting making me, Ed and Mabs jump. Literally.

Dave then turned to me and shrugged casually which made me break into spontaneous laughing of the higgily-piggily type and I saw Dave grinning at me.

We then turned to Ed and Mabs who looked scared and confused beyond belief. That made me laugh harder and then Dave joined in.

**5 seconds later**

While Ed and Mabs were still frozen in shock Dave shuffled over to me and said, "Shall we?" before nodding in the general direction of the others.

I smiled at him and said, "Why yes of course." And just like that we walked off acting as cool as le cucumbers.

**1 minute later**

Conclusion: first PANTS episode? Success!

**Sunday 5****th**** February**

So now it's official. Me and Dave are mates and everyone knows it – the Ace Gang, Barmy Army, Jas's Owls', the lot. Which makes it official. And it's bon. Tres bon in fact. Mucho tres bon with bananas on top.

This is a new era. The era of me and Dave being matey mates. Of course, there's still gonna be the awkward-turtle moments but because we are mature almost-grown-upsies-folk our PANTS plan sorts them out puuuurfectly (as Angus and Gordy would say).

**30 seconds later**

Speaking of, I haven't seen the two furry critters around much later. And by "seen" I mean tattooing my body with scratches and sleeping in my bed so I have to nap on the floor. I wonder what they've been up to?

Maybe Gordy has discovered the female-kittycats and is trying his luck. Or maybe Angus is out purring up Gordy's mutti. Or maybe they are out together fighting crime and busting up bad guys.

**12 minutes later**

Oh no, found them. They're both curled up under my clothes in the airing cupboard which is toasty warm. They hissed at me at the same time when I went to pick up my top. I guess they'll be getting to the crime fighting later then...

**1 minute later**

Life is so much easier as a cat. Maybe I should just give up and become one. I could sleep with them in the cupboard and be their queen. Although Angus doesn't really like it when I make him leave the kitchen so worshipping me might be a tad bit of a stretch. Though maybe him digging his claws into me (and not letting go till he's ripped a good junk of skin out with him) is really a sign of affection and how much he luuuuurves me. Maybe.

**3 minutes later**

I can't believe it's Sunday already. Where did the weekend go? I can't believe I have to be back at Stalag 14 in the morning. It sucks. Work sucks. I think I know all there is to know about plants now. Well at least all I can learn from the sucky sucky teachers at that place some people call "school".

But on the plus side, just one more week until half term!

Dave and the Barmy Army say they have a surprise planned for all us "lasses" that will, and I quote, "blow our girly parts off".

We weren't quite sure how to take that... or know whether it's a good thing...

**Short chapter I'm sorry... but anyone up for some Half-term antics next chapter?**

**Horns out! ;)**


	10. Goating Gloating

**I know I know, I've been a couple months but I AM getting better... and will try to improve again in the future ;) **

**Thank you to all you wonderful souls who leave comments, you really do encourage me to continue!**

**Horns out ;)**

**Chapter 9: Goating Gloating**

_So now it's official. Me and Dave are mates and everyone knows it – the Ace Gang, Barmy Army, Jas's Owls', the lot. Which makes it official. And it's bon. Tres bon in fact. Mucho tres bon with bananas on top. _

_This is a new era. The era of me and Dave being matey mates. Of course, there's still gonna be the awkward-turtle moments but because we are mature almost-grown-upsies-folk our PANTS plan sorts them out puuuurfectly (as Angus and Gordy would say). _

_But on the plus side, just one more week until half term!_

_Dave and the Barmy Army say they have a surprise planned for all us "lasses" that will, and I quote, "blow our girly parts off". _

_We weren't quite sure how to take that... or know whether it's a good thing..._

**Tuesday 7****th**** February**

**In town with my one and only only only Owl-loving fool**

**4.30pm**

"Why do we need to go in here again?" Jas asked as I dragged her into the phone shop. It's vair vair tiny I must say. Although I guess phones are rather tiny themselves so a tiny shop will fit in with the tiny phones.

"I am being a Saint of the highest Devil waters," I told her in an oh-so-true way.

She looked at me and raised her eyebrows, "What?"

I rolled my eyes, "I told you Jassy, I'm getting a phone..."

"Yes I know..." then she did that narrowing of the eye thing which I think she thinks makes her look all serious and knowing when really she just looks like she's going blind. "... for who again?"

"Erm... Liam," I said quickly and shuffled over to the iphones. HA – cos Liam's really getting one of them from me! I said I'm being a Saint not Richard Branson.

"Yes..." Jassy said sneaking up next to me, "You're getting a phone for Liam. You!"

I rounded on her, "And what's that supposed to mean Jas?"

"Well it's just not like you to... to go out of your way... or give money away for-"

"Are you saying I'm not a generous-type person Jassy?"

She looked at me for a moment. Blinked a couple of times. Then: "Yes."

I biffed her on the head. "Rude. I am a generous person. I can be very generous."

"Georgia you once refused to give me a redvine because you had, oh, I don't know, only _twenty _left. If you can't spare a one penny sweet how can you expect me to believe that you are going to fork out one hundred quid for _Liam_?"

"Whoa!" I stopped her in her tracks with an arm, "_One hundred pounds_? How much are phones?" I quickly began scampering round the shop checking all the prices. Fifty pounds... one hundred and twenty pounds... seventy five pounds... I was seeing my life flash before my eyes. Or at least any money I had flying away. Oh god. Why am I doing this? Why did I say I was going to be all generous and whatnot? Why couldn't I have stuck to my (new)Devil roots. Oh this is all going terribly wrong. I should never try and do nice things for other people. It always ends up badly.

"Georgia..." someone was saying, "GEORGIA!"

Whoa. Crikey.

"Whoa," I said, coming back to reality (and the teeny tiny phone shop) to see Jas's face inches from mine. "Back off Lessie let me breathe."

Jas biffed me on the head, "Shut up. You were really freaking out..." she trailed off then suddenly a stupid huge knowing smirk appeared on her face, "...having second thoughts about being all 'generous' and buying Liam a phone are we?"

I glared at her and her stupid fringe. "No," I replied crossing my arms, "Not at all. You are not right."

Her smirk got wider. Pretty soon it was going to just take over her face. All she will be is a smirk and a fringe. A smirking fringe. Ergh. "If you say so. Why don't you choose a phone then since you're such a generous person?"

"Fine!" I announced beginning to scan the shop once again (and trying not to hyperventilate this time), "I wil-"

I was then cut off, "Hello there!" I turned round. A rather tall lady was stood there dressed all neatly and wearing a ponytail that is just too high for anyone older than nine years old. And she was smiling all cheerily at us. It was rather sickening really.

"...erm... hey" I said, trying to avoid eye contact. I feel like the cheeriness might be infectious and I do not need that when I am planning on fully on goating gloating to Jas after I get the phone.

"My name is Susie," of course it is, "Can I help you with anything?"

"No we're ok. Thanks though. Toodles." I said. Or at least I started to. Jas only went and bloody interrupted me half way through like the rude girl she is.

"Yes, my friend here is looking for a phone. Do you have anything for under £2?" Then she started snickering to herself. Honestly. She thinks she's so funny. How immature. Especially for a supposed wise woman of the forest. I really am questioning that more every day.

Smiley Susie watched the exchange of Jas laughing and me glaring at her for a moment before turning to me and saying, "So I guess you're on a budget. Well not to worry, I'm sure I can find you something. Though you may have to shell out a few more pounds I'm afraid..."

**6.30pm**

"Ha! Hahahahahahahaha!" I barked at Jas as we ambled home all snuggled up in coats and scarves and gloves and hats – the special kind that don't ruin the bouncability of my hair.

"It's been two hours, you can shut up now Georgia," she said in a glum type voice because she is apparently now a glum type person.

"Oh Jassy, see how upset you get when you're wrong. You should really work on that."

She glared at me so I took a step back. Maybe she'll hit me again. She does that a lot. Maybe I should suggest some form of anger management to her parents. They'll understand and take care of her. They're normal folk. Not like my joke of a Vati and basoomer-shelf Mutti.

"I don't know why you're so happy," she huffed at me as we continued walking again (and by walking I mean casually tiptoeing along the street avoiding all the slippery icy patches due to the damn cold weather), "Liam is going to hate the phone you bought."

"Are you kidding!" I exclaimed, rummaging in my bag to get out the mobile I got him, "Who wouldn't love this?"

Jas just rolled her eyes at me as I held out the £5.99 phone I managed to get that is decorated in lots of little Great Britain flags and then on the back there is a picture of Prince William and Kate all dressed up in their wedding shizzle. That's not even the best part – it even plays the national anthem or the wedding march as the ring tone. TOP. NOTCH.

Jas stayed as bored as ever. "He's going to hate it."

**All snugly in bed away from the nasty outside where it is cold and people fall on their behinds**

**20 minutes later**

After I bought the fabbity fab phone for Liam from the phone shop me and Jas went to get a hot chocolate in order to prolong the walk home. Brrr it was so nippy noodles. I'm surprised I didn't lose any of my limbs. Or maybe I did and just haven't realised yet.

**10 seconds later**

It's ok! Panic over! I have all 20 fingers and toes. Unfortunately my nose is still in one piece as well. I wouldn't have minded if a chunk of that had fallen off.

I can't wait to give Liam his phone. He is going to be so shocked and overwhelmed at my kindest he may even crack a smile. Fancy that.

Maybe I should introduce him to Smiley Susie. As annoying as she is she may be able to teach Liam a thing or two. Though I wouldn't say for certain.

**8.45pm**

Just finished tea with the swiss family mad. And no, don't go getting any ideas that Mutti has decided to turn into a proper mother and cook. Hells bells no. She ordered Chinese takeaway. It was delicious! My tummy was so starving by the time we sat down that I practically inhaled all my food. At least that's what Vati said. He said:

"Georgia, you practically just inhaled that whole plate."

I said "Vati don't be ridiculous, the plate is right here."

Then I laughed at how witty and funny I am while Vati just sat there with his badger twitching on his face.

At least there was no throwing of noodles or rice this time. For the past few days Libby has taken a vendetta against carbs and likes to throw pasta and whatnot off her plate to wherever in the room. Maybe she's already planning to be one of those super skinny model type people who hate food. I should definitely start her on the road to being addicted to jammy dodgers and poptarts soon. Because that is the sort of older, caring big sister I am.

**1 minute later**

Obviously there wasn't a pudding but Mutti and Vati didn't seem to want to let me be happy in life and leave the table to be away from them. Instead we had to stay sat down and 'talk' for 'family time' or whatever other crap they were babbling away about. I wasn't really listening. To me just staying in the same zone as Libby prolongs the amount of time that I could possibly get hit with something sticky.

**20 seconds later**

The phone rang and I leaped up faster than a leaping thing in order to get it. For once I really really hope it is Jas so I can take it in my room and leave the crazy table.

"Hello, home of the clinically unstable carbohydrate eater," I said and Mutti and Vati tutted from where they were sat. Tut all your want you silly folk I will be the one protecting your daughters health... with tasty snacks nom nom.

"Georgia?"

"Dave?"

"Yes this is he."

"Oh."

"Georgia?"

"Yes?"

"It's Dave?"

"I know, you just said."

"But then you just said 'oh'."

"I thought you were Jas."

He paused.

"Well that's not very nice."

**15 minutes later**

**In my boudoir chatting avec my matey mate Dave**

He really is a good mate. Ringing me during 'family time' so I can get away. Now that is the sort of matey-mate I want in my life.

I filled Dave in on my past ... few hours. I.e. explained about the Will&Kate phone buying fandango. And about Smiley Susie. Dave said she sounds like a "barrel of PANTS down my trousers". I just... I don't even know what to do with that and I do NOT want to think about it.

**5 seconds later**

"So you've got yourself a new swanky phone then. What's the number?"

"Oh no," I said, "It's not for me it's for-"

Then I stopped. Would Dave care that I had bought Liam a phone? Would he think Liam was more of a matey mate to me than Dave? Because he's not. He's not a matey mate. I'm not even sure he's a mate. I am just repaying a favour. Yes. I am giving Liam the phone then I do not owe him anything and I am free from his mysterious ways.

Because that's what I want to be. Free. Yes...

**2 seconds later**

"Who's it for?" Dave said after I failed to finish my sentence. Naturally.

"Erm... Liam..." I whispered then said louder, "It's for Liam."

Then I sort of felt my body tense because I didn't know how Dave would take it.

And then he just broke out laughing. Sort of like higgily piggily laughing as well. Ad'hoc laughing if you will.

"What's so funny?" I said, trying to get him to hear me above his puffing and panting. It was rather annoying actually.

"Georgia... you bought Liam, _Liam,_ a phone that is celebrating England and the love between our beloved newlyweds. Because we all know how patriotic and loving Liam is." Then he did a bit more laughing.

I frowned. Not that he could see. "How do you know Liam won't like the phone? In fact, he may not even care what is on the cover... or the ringtone... he may just appreciate that I, Georgia Nicolson, have done something out of the kindest of my heart."

Dave paused from laughing, "Didn't you drop his last phone down the toilet?"

Ah. Yes. Good point... well made.

**Thursday 9****th**** February**

**In town again. It's nippy noodles. Again. But on the Brightside I do not have my annoying fringe-flicking Owl-loving fool with me. Just my matey mate Dave. **

**4.45pm**

We're going for a hot chocolate and a chat because that is what matey mates do. Plus it is so cold that if I don't drink something hot fast I may just freeze to the spot. Which could be anywhere. What if it was in the middle of town? And my face froze at an angle that made my nose look even bigger? And people would walk past and laugh and point and I just wouldn't be able to do anything. Ergh.

"So... has Liam been given his phone yet?" Dave asked as we made our way down the high street.

I shook my head because I talking was too much of an effort in this cold. And when I tried to say "no" it came out as "nnuurghh." Although Dave seemed to get it.

"Can I please be there when you give it him?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes. Only due to the cold they did roll back quick enough and before I knew what was happening I had collided with someone.

It was Robbie.

Robbie!

My mind sort of tried to unfreeze itself for a moment and I managed a "heyyymmm Rwwoby." God I sound like Libby. When she was 2.

Robbie just smiled at me that usual lovely smile he does. "Hi Georgia," then he turned to Dave, "Hi Dave." Then he looked back at me. Then back to Dave. Then he sort of cocked his head to the side the way dogs do when they want a treat.

His smile widened a little. "Are you two... are you back together?"

I tried to response and tell him "no, we are just matey mates" but it was so cold my brain was taking even longer to function. So Robbie took that as a yes.

"Oh guys that's great. I really am so happy for you. I know you've had trouble in the past and life's thrown you some rotten times but you really are good together I'm glad you've patched things up."

This time my whole body really did freeze. And not from the cold. This was so embarrassing. And uncomfortable. And I can't believe Robbie just said all those things and me and Dave aren't even back together.

**2 seconds later**

I glanced over at Dave to see him sort of frozen like me. Whether the cold or the awkwardness I wasn't sure. But I did the only thing I could think of. I leant over to Dave and whispered in his ear, "erm... pants?"

It took a moment, but then suddenly Dave seemed to come back to life. I had breathed the life back into him with my clever wit. I must be half girl half superwoman.

Robbie, meanwhile, was rather confused by our lack of responding. Fair enough. "What's going on?" He said.

Then Dave let out a big smile and said, "I think what Georgia meant to say was... PANTS."

Robbie looked a bit takenaback and moved his gaze to me, "erm... pants?"

I nodded like a nodding dog (which actually hurt as my teeth started shattering together). "Yes... PANTS!"

"Pants?"

"PANTS!"

"PANTS!"

"PANTS!"

"PANTS!"

**15 minutes later**

I don't actually know which one of us was screaming PANTS by the end but somehow we got there. And it was even rather amusing. This PANTS malarkey really does its job!

And now me and Dave are sat in a nice warm coffee shop having a hot choccy. Mmmm.

"Just tell me," I said, picking up my drink and taken a slurp. An elegant slurp... obviously.

Dave shook his head and grinned, "Nope. You're just going to have to wait till next week to find out like everyone else."

I folded my arms and frowned. Dave kept teasing me about what the boys had planned for next week during half term but he wouldn't tell me what it was.

"But you're my matey mate. You should tell me stuff like this."

Dave grinned. "Sorry, matey mate does not cut it. Maybe if you were my girlfrie-"

"PANTS!" I suddenly shouted causing a few annoyed looks for nearby coffee-drinkers but nothing that affected mine and Dave's laughing spree.

"What about a clue?" I tried.

Dave should shook his head, "No can do Miss Gee. But it's something good."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Well it had better be now."

**Woop woop Half Term is coming! Lots of fun antics :)**

**By the way, I am off to see Louise Rennison's theatre adaptation of the Gee books in Leeds this month... anyone else going? **

**Horns out ;)**


	11. UPDATE (in the right story this time)

So I understand a few people are angry/disappointed/not actually fused at all that I haven't updated in forever... I do have an explanation... university. It's rather taxing time-wise.

BUT

I actually finish my final exams a week on Thursday.

So what do people say to me finishing this story and maybe even starting a brand new one?

YOU CAN RELY ON ME NOW GUYS I PROMISE (and by 'now' I mean in 9 days)

Thoughts?

Horns Out


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